This is the Japanese word for something that has ailed me my entire life--the shaking of the leg. That subconscious anxiety that manages to get my legs to bounce up and down and drive those who know and love me, and I am sure those who don't as well (they simply don't tell me) CRAZY! In Japan the story goes, that if you have binbo yusuri you will become poor (binbo means poor).
I now hardly if ever shake my leg. I have been filled with such a peace and rest. Recently, a good friend called out some areas of healing in my life where it is quite obvious that I strive; the way I speak and express myself, constantly going on tangents and parading every quote I have ever heard that are somehow stored in my brain.
I have been praying one of the name's of the Lord a lot lately. Jehovah Shalom. I have been focusing solely on His Shalom (on His peace, His wholeness, His completeness and harmony among many other things that the Hebrew shalom can be translated into) and I have seen it manifest in my life. I have never been so restful and at peace. No more trying to get the next word in. Well, sometimes, but I am so quick to repent (turn from it, not so much start apologizing to God) and then learn from the mistake and keep focusing on His Shalom.
I love being able to be more self-critical of myself than I have ever been in my life but without beating myself up. The growth everyday is phenomenal. No longer do I focus on my deficiency but on His complete sufficiency. The best decision I have ever made: to let God be God and to behold Him always.
Today at my Wednesday night community group, in usual fashion I began by expounding all I knew about the subject and then the Holy Spirit gently said to me, " You don't need to or have to say anything." What freedom. I sat there for the rest of the night, completely in love with my brothers and sisters as I prayed for them under my breath. Papa is teaching me how to be a voice and not an echo, as a dear man who God has used in my life once prophesied over me, and for now Papa is saying, "Stop trying to prove you love me by how much you know and how eloquent you are and just love them."
Papa is leading every step of my life right now and I wouldn't have it any other way. He is leading my music. Check out a new recording at www.myspace.com/adamyv and he is leading other things as well. He has told me to start taking Turkish so I will start tomorrow and studying has become an act of worship and He is blessing my language abilities beyond what I could have imagined; and all I do is rest in Him and only jump when he says jump. I don't get it perfect every time, but He is so much bigger than that and He doesn't want me wasting time on that.
He knows every raindrop that falls on my forehead...
His son,
Christian
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Healing
I love metaphors and so does God. One of my favorite parts of scripture is the book of James and his metaphors about the tongue. James was one of the first book of the Bible I read and it really fired me up as a newly adopted son of God. However, it is not a book to approach if you still feel like an orphan. Without the cross in plain sight, the book of James can paralyze a Christian earnestly seeking to love and serve God.
A book I was once enamored with became shrouded with an ominous cloud of condemnation and disappoint. Obvious lies; but indeed, Satan is the father of lies. I didn't understand the cross.
Everyone who came to Jesus in the Gospels was healed. Jesus came not only to get us a ticket into heaven. That is not what "saved" means. The Koine Greek word for saved in the New Testament is sozo, which means save, delivered, and healed. Jesus came to save the whole person and to make them whole. Eternity starts now. We can bring heaven to earth now through healed hearts, if we allow ourselves to truly behold the cross.
My Wednesday night small group is doing the book of James this semester. Approaching this book with the cross finally in view allows me to read verses that condemn those with tongue-control issues of false religion. I struggle with my tongue, but the Lord is healing me one day at time. This book convicts as it should, and thanks to the cross anything's ( and I mean absolutely anything) ability to condemn is completely incinerated. I am ecstatic, to say the least, to learn from the man who grew up with our older brother Jesus.
In my Tuesday night Bible Study, Papa God, has so instrumentally placed others with similar hurts and brokenness so that His healing will come so that I may be set completely free to soar like the eagle I was created to be. Day by day, the black hole in my heart is diminishing. Only and infinite God can do this. Pascal knew this. Happiness is an inside job; it really is. No matter what is happening outside...inside, as the Bible tells, we can and should rejoice always and be filled with peace.
It is all about being like the ant. One day at a time. The ant takes one grain of earth at a time, and ultimately has a colony. I must remind myself everyday, one day at a time. One day at a time. Worry leads to indolence, and indolence leads to despair. We were not made to be self appointed doomsday soothsayers of our won future. We must only focus on Him today and what He is doing today. And as the ant does not work alone, we have our family in Christ to help orient us if we become anxious about what we cannot see, not to mention our Daddy God who is full control of this contraption we call life and all He wants us to do is focus on the lesson of the day. We must stop jumping ahead.
A black hole is being filled and a pendulum is being placated, by one who is infinite and all powerful. My heart, my mind, body and soul are being healed one day at a time. At Bethel church this past July it was prophesied over me that the healing of my back would come through the healing of my mind. The kingdom is right in front of us; we must let Him heal our minds.
A new friend I have made who is already very dear to me told me today about how God healed his back for a few days. We had a beautiful conversation today and are excited to keep going to God in prayer as the widow did to the evil judge in the Gospels for full healing for his back. How much more will a good God answer if we are diligent. If we ask, we shall receive. Seek, and ye shall find. Knock and it will be opened. Please find Charles Spurgeon's book on prayer.
When I told him about my prophecy, he told me about his experience and, first off, the confusion and condemnation he felt when the pain returned. He wondered what He had done wrong. Then he became angry. However, today as we spent much of the day together, and we gushed about His goodness we both realized how much more important the healing of our minds and hearts are and we prayed for healing for of our backs; something we will contend for until our good God delivers. Prayer prompts God and it transforms us. It is a multipurpose tool of the divine nature into which we have become partakers. I am going to ask! I am going to seek! and I am going to knock! until I receive, find, and until it is opened to me. And when the breakthrough comes, I will give it freely as I received it freely! I am determined to watch healing come, not only in my own life, but in all of those around me. We grinned today, wide-eyed, as we remembered Jacob and at the same time said in our prayer, "I will not let you go, until you bless me!" and our Papa God loves to wrestle with us...He is such a good Daddy.
Climb into His lap :)
A. Christian
A book I was once enamored with became shrouded with an ominous cloud of condemnation and disappoint. Obvious lies; but indeed, Satan is the father of lies. I didn't understand the cross.
Everyone who came to Jesus in the Gospels was healed. Jesus came not only to get us a ticket into heaven. That is not what "saved" means. The Koine Greek word for saved in the New Testament is sozo, which means save, delivered, and healed. Jesus came to save the whole person and to make them whole. Eternity starts now. We can bring heaven to earth now through healed hearts, if we allow ourselves to truly behold the cross.
My Wednesday night small group is doing the book of James this semester. Approaching this book with the cross finally in view allows me to read verses that condemn those with tongue-control issues of false religion. I struggle with my tongue, but the Lord is healing me one day at time. This book convicts as it should, and thanks to the cross anything's ( and I mean absolutely anything) ability to condemn is completely incinerated. I am ecstatic, to say the least, to learn from the man who grew up with our older brother Jesus.
In my Tuesday night Bible Study, Papa God, has so instrumentally placed others with similar hurts and brokenness so that His healing will come so that I may be set completely free to soar like the eagle I was created to be. Day by day, the black hole in my heart is diminishing. Only and infinite God can do this. Pascal knew this. Happiness is an inside job; it really is. No matter what is happening outside...inside, as the Bible tells, we can and should rejoice always and be filled with peace.
It is all about being like the ant. One day at a time. The ant takes one grain of earth at a time, and ultimately has a colony. I must remind myself everyday, one day at a time. One day at a time. Worry leads to indolence, and indolence leads to despair. We were not made to be self appointed doomsday soothsayers of our won future. We must only focus on Him today and what He is doing today. And as the ant does not work alone, we have our family in Christ to help orient us if we become anxious about what we cannot see, not to mention our Daddy God who is full control of this contraption we call life and all He wants us to do is focus on the lesson of the day. We must stop jumping ahead.
A black hole is being filled and a pendulum is being placated, by one who is infinite and all powerful. My heart, my mind, body and soul are being healed one day at a time. At Bethel church this past July it was prophesied over me that the healing of my back would come through the healing of my mind. The kingdom is right in front of us; we must let Him heal our minds.
A new friend I have made who is already very dear to me told me today about how God healed his back for a few days. We had a beautiful conversation today and are excited to keep going to God in prayer as the widow did to the evil judge in the Gospels for full healing for his back. How much more will a good God answer if we are diligent. If we ask, we shall receive. Seek, and ye shall find. Knock and it will be opened. Please find Charles Spurgeon's book on prayer.
When I told him about my prophecy, he told me about his experience and, first off, the confusion and condemnation he felt when the pain returned. He wondered what He had done wrong. Then he became angry. However, today as we spent much of the day together, and we gushed about His goodness we both realized how much more important the healing of our minds and hearts are and we prayed for healing for of our backs; something we will contend for until our good God delivers. Prayer prompts God and it transforms us. It is a multipurpose tool of the divine nature into which we have become partakers. I am going to ask! I am going to seek! and I am going to knock! until I receive, find, and until it is opened to me. And when the breakthrough comes, I will give it freely as I received it freely! I am determined to watch healing come, not only in my own life, but in all of those around me. We grinned today, wide-eyed, as we remembered Jacob and at the same time said in our prayer, "I will not let you go, until you bless me!" and our Papa God loves to wrestle with us...He is such a good Daddy.
Climb into His lap :)
A. Christian
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Josh's Bible Study
I have been back at Yale for nearly two weeks now. Two weeks also marks the time
since a significant spiritual breakthrough in my life.
The first week back was marked with a new outpouring of the Spirit unlike
anything I have experienced before; and it has come through the gradual
renewing of my mind.
However, these past few days have been quite difficult as the pressures of Yale
begin to mount. The beginning of a Yale semester is especially challenging due
to what Yale calls shopping period, where for about a period of two weeks you
can try out any class offered of the hundreds offered at Yale every semester.
It is a crazy time to say the least; like a kid in a candy store, but we all
know what happens when a kid eats too much candy.
The first week back at Yale I was getting so much time with Papa God. I was
rising early and praying and looking at the Word in a new way; not focusing on
the breadth of what I read but on the depth. I revisited chapters and certain
Psalms over and over again to really meditate on them for a span of a few days.
As soon as I arrived from Morocco to Yale, the Lord by His providence and Grace
connected me with a couple of exceptional young lovers of God who are in the
Christian a capella group I sang with my freshman year, Living Water (check out
the site www.yale.edu/lh20) and who I have now decided to sing with for my
remaining time here at Yale.
The trip from Morocco to Yale was long and grueling and filled with a moment to
moment dependence on the Lord that I am learning to operate in more and more.
For quite some time I have been quite torn about where God would want me this
academic year, finagling every way I could to stay on the fence; and once Yale
looked pretty much decided, finagling some more to get back to China. It was a
trust issue. I have been through an intense time of eighty days of wilderness
from which I am finally emerging. I believe perhaps half of the wilderness was
specifically appointed by God, and furthermore it is quite possible that the
latter forty days were a product of my own stubbornness, leading me to stay
there; even though the Shepherd was gently asking me to come out with Him.
He is good. He really does leave the ninety-nine to go get the one stubborn one
such as myself, even if He has to break its leg and then carry Him the rest of
the way so that it can learn to trust Him. This is how the shepherds used to do
it in ancient Israel.
Coming back to Yale was a scary decision, but the breakthrough brought me to the
end of myself and I finally surrendered everything to God; absolutely
everything. Every aspect of my future. All of my past and regrets. My laptop
and all that was on it was stolen this summer and many more items that I used
to find comfort in; and I am happier than ever. Funny how that works isn't it.
He loses His life will gain it, and he who tries to save His life will lose it.
Also, I have painfully learned, he who exalts himself will be humbled and he who
humbles himself will be exalted. When the Lord graciously invites you to His
party, don't take the front row seat; chances are He will ask you to step down
and it's never fun. Instead take the lowest, humblest seat and He, in His
kindness and love, will ask you to move up.
Anyway, I have been learning to repent for believing in lies and then replacing
it with truth. One example is repenting of thinking that the NKJ (New King
James) Version of the Bible is somehow superior to other versions of the Bible.
This simply is not true. I repented of this on the airplane ride over to New
York on my way to Yale and had to cover my face with the blanket on the plane
to spare people my tear-drenched grimaces. I had arrogantly read the NKJV for
the past year often being unclear in many areas due to an agreement I made many
years ago before I was a Christian simply because of the religious environment I
was raised in. In a word: baggage. I have begun to repent for so much baggage
that I have brought in to my relationship with my Papa God. (You Tube "who
turned off my brain" and watch Dr. Caroline Leaf explain the science behind
renewing the mind, repentance, forgiveness, and healing; it will set you free
of so many misconceptions and give you a concrete idea of what the above
concepts look like physiologically)
On a more severe note. I have repented of believing that I am a bad student, a
lie that originated in my childhood with my earthly father telling me often
times that I wasn't very bright. I have also forgiven him and replaced it with
truth and already seen the Lord's supernatural work in making me a better
student as God made me to be and as was prophesied of me at Bethel church in
Redding, California this last July (please check out their website and their
podcasts (they will change your life): www.ibethel.org)
These are but a couple of examples. I have learned to stop believing the lie
also that somehow I am big enough to mess up God's plan. My wilderness time
came predominantly from believing that somehow I had missed the boat called
"the God life intended for you". That was the breakthrough and I repented for
judging God and basically calling Him a liar when He tells me that all things
work together for good for those who love Him. As a friend taught me today I
was a "me always ever" person; a person who believes everything is their fault.
Then there are the "not me always never" people who just simply wash their hands
of everything. I have come to this conclusion: I have 100% free will and God is
100% (I will even go as far as to say 110% or infinitely more) in control and
knows all things. Don't ask me to spell it out. It is just what I have learned,
now by experience, not just as my theology. However, not just that, but that God
is a good God and that His Grace is truly amazing. He is in a good mood all the
time! And He loves us so much!
Today really brought that home for me. There is no such things as supposed to or
meant to be with God, at least not in our terms. We are meant to simply BE. BE
PRESENT in His presence all the time. Seek first His kingdom and all these
things will be added to you, Jesus said. Regrets are a waste of time and so is
worrying about the future. Release, repent, forgive, and surrender! Please
people, and begin to experience life abundant in Him.
Today I was getting to the end of myself again, straying again into the "what am
I supposed to do with my life" and here is the one that kills me "for God" rut.
Getting overwhelmed by all the options and potential "futures" that actually
don't exist outside of our minds. As C.S. Lewis puts is in his book the Screw
Tape Letters, the enemy loves to get us to think and pray about things that
don't even exist. Moment to moment worship and dependence is the key and that
is what Satan really hates.
I couldn't handle it anymore so I stepped out of a science course I was shopping
and walked back to my dorm and recognized a student who had given his testimony
over the weekend and I came up to him and just bluntly asked him if he could
pray for me.
There are two parts of the Bible I would love to allude to for a moment: Samuel
10 and a verse at the beginning of 2 Corinthians.
Samuel 10 is about, essentially, this scavenger hunt that the Lord sends the
newly anointed King Saul on and at the end of the personally tailored journey,
Saul receives a new heart.
Then, the verse in 2 Corinthians talks about how we are wasting away on the
outside but being renewed constantly on the inside and another great part of
this part of scripture is how the Lord has given us His Spirit as a deposit of
whats to come (2 Cor 5:5)
I have two major changes in my heart, renewals, that have occurred
simultaneously as I have been wasting away on the outside. I can enjoy talented
musicians and I am blessed by anyone who prays for me. First off, comparison,
pride,envy and low self-esteem kept me from being able to enjoy good music,
especially live, especially when it was people I knew personally and with the
latter issue on prayer I was simply a spiritual snob. Just a couple of examples
and I Praise Him for the work He is doing in my heart. Another work He is doing
in my heart that I will elaborate on more on some later occasion is being 100%
honest 100% of the time (no more white lies or exaggeration, etc.). More on
this in a future blog I hope.
So back to the story. I pray with this amazing guy name Zach(ck?) and just let
it all out. It is amazing how helpful it is at times to pray with others. He
then pointed me to Josh's Bible Study, a guy who I have gotten to know some
over the past couple of weeks who attends Yale Divinity School. So at 7:30
today I go over to Ezra Stiles college and am heavily burdened but leave
everything aside and just go.
This is very similar to how the Lord, as I arrived at the Yale campus at around
midnight August 26th, orchestrated my meeting with Kevin and Alice, the lovely
a capella singers and my dear friend, which led me to go to the Yale Students
for Christ retreat which was exactly what I needed right after the wilderness;
and during the retreat the Lord performed powerful healing work in my heart and
even played me music as He has in times past (maybe more on this later, I will
be taking a course on Christian mysticism this term so am I excited to explore
ecstasy in the Lord more deeply (ecstasy means to stand outside yourself=
ec-stasis)).
As I am walking more and more closely to Him and leaving all my regrets and
worries aside and learning to rejoice in Him always, though sometimes
concomitantly sorrowful as Paul speaks of, I am realizing that as soon as we
open our eyes to the cross and His Grace, His magic happens.
This Bible study tonite really sealed it for me. It is exactly what I had asked
God for; a group of people who at any cost wanted to see the Spirit of God
move. Tonite's Bible study was only supposed to be a couple of hours long and
it turned into over five hours of prayer, worship, visions, prophecy,
spontaneous teaching, prophetic drawing and just whatever the Spirit wanted to
do. I am so thankful to be at Yale right now in the midst of a revival where
the Spirit of God is dispelling darkness, disease and disbelief.
And God knit it all together; everyone there had a purpose and through this
group we are aiming to discover who God has made us to be (not just career wise
or all those petty worldly terms, but who we ARE, just as He is I AM, He wants
us to know who we ARE to walk in our royal authority every moment). Thank you
Jesus. Just one example I will share, because I am sure that as the year
unfolds I will understand that this past year of difficulty and many follies
such as spiritual pride, complacency, stubbornness, judgment, among other
things, God used to bring me to a place to be a worker here at Yale and also to
finally accept His precious healing before He fully sends me out. I would love
to write a post some time called " The Prodigal Pharisee" because that is what
I was.
One little example and then I will sign off for now. The testimony that is
accumulating here at Yale and the prophetic words would take me all day to
write, so just this one little example; this really drove it home, not to say
that everything that has happened in the past two weeks, from Papa providing a
laptop, giving me prophetic dreams, and so much more wasn't enough, but that's
the thing; He has infinite store houses and as long as we start understanding
that we are princes and princesses will we truly be able to freely ask and
receive and then freely give as we freely receive.
I have been preaching the Gospel like a crazy fiend here on this campus and it
has been from a place unlike I have never know before. He who is forgiven much
loves much. I am determined to pour out my life for Jesus and His Gospel as
that woman did as she broke that alabaster container of perfume on Jesus' feet,
of such worth, a years wages, that it could have been a dowry to remarry and get
out of the social level of prostitute; but she poured it out on Jesus' feet. The
Pharisee didn't even kiss Jesus or put oil on His head, because He didn't think
He needed to be forgiven. Read the story in the Gospel of John Chp 12. He who
realizes how much he or she has been forgiven loves much. We are all sinners
that is why Jesus said that even if you look lustfully upon a woman you have
already committed adultery with her in your heart and if you are angry at your
brother you have committed murder. We are all capable of atrocious things.
Think about it.
To the story. I have been witnessing up and down. I even got to share my
testimony with the Master of my college and He was very intrigued, surprisingly
since at Yale Christians aren't considered the smartest people on campus to say
the least ( he was especially interested in contemplative prayer) and I have
even been able to offer prophetic words to unbelievers that resonate with their
lives and leave them with a feeling of awe that something more than eloquent
speech is at work here, giving the the Gospel that extra umph, that love
encounter with the all knowing and all powerful God.
About a week ago I was catching up with a friend from freshman year and
ultimately as is usually the case all my conversations end with Jesus, as Paul
exhorts us to have all of our conversation be becoming of Christ. So I shared
the Gospel with him in a way I had never shared before and long story short at
the end of the conversation He was in tears and He kept telling me that He
could see that this was real love but that he wouldn't call it Jesus and that
that was just what I called it and then a spirit of boldness came over me and I
just kept repeating to Him, "A man named Jesus who is God came and became man to
understand everything you go through and to die for you." Maybe three times I
repeated it and then I held him in my arms and prayed for Him and told Him all
I perceived God wanted me to tell him and He was bawling. He had a love
encounter with our Lord Jesus. Lets drop the apologetics people, you do not
need to apologize for the truth.
The beauty of truly understanding His Grace is that you start stepping out in
faith and you are no longer afraid to make mistakes and through the humility
that He grows in us we are able to learn from the mistakes and become more and
more like Him. That is the beauty of living in an atmosphere of Grace. Peter
walked on water and then sunk but Jesus caught him. Jesus will always catch us.
As a new friend taught me today, "Plead Jesus!". You are completely justified
before God. If the enemy tries to come in and condemn, read Him your rights and
Plead Jesus!!
What blew me away today was that almost everything I shared at the Bible study
was connected to other people there. One girl who was really struggling in
understanding God's will, when she heard about my friend, had to bud in and
mention how she had been praying for the guy I shared with all summer long and we all rejoiced at
how the Lord uses the entire body to bring in the harvest and especially when we
do only what we see the Father doing; and the harvest is unspeakable!
I leave this blog with this. A revival is coming to this planet. A massive
revival and part of that is about to explode here in the North East and
especially here at Yale. When I came in as a freshman and I wasn't a Christian
the atmosphere was completely different. The bowl of intercession is about to
spill over and revival is going to hit this place. The freshman class is rife
with strong Christians and people are coming to know the Lord left and right.
Years of prayer and intercession, and now the harvest is ready and the workers
are here and we are operating under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and in an
atmosphere of Grace! Thank you Lord Jesus! and brace yourselves!!
Love and Peace and Joy everlasting
Christian
since a significant spiritual breakthrough in my life.
The first week back was marked with a new outpouring of the Spirit unlike
anything I have experienced before; and it has come through the gradual
renewing of my mind.
However, these past few days have been quite difficult as the pressures of Yale
begin to mount. The beginning of a Yale semester is especially challenging due
to what Yale calls shopping period, where for about a period of two weeks you
can try out any class offered of the hundreds offered at Yale every semester.
It is a crazy time to say the least; like a kid in a candy store, but we all
know what happens when a kid eats too much candy.
The first week back at Yale I was getting so much time with Papa God. I was
rising early and praying and looking at the Word in a new way; not focusing on
the breadth of what I read but on the depth. I revisited chapters and certain
Psalms over and over again to really meditate on them for a span of a few days.
As soon as I arrived from Morocco to Yale, the Lord by His providence and Grace
connected me with a couple of exceptional young lovers of God who are in the
Christian a capella group I sang with my freshman year, Living Water (check out
the site www.yale.edu/lh20) and who I have now decided to sing with for my
remaining time here at Yale.
The trip from Morocco to Yale was long and grueling and filled with a moment to
moment dependence on the Lord that I am learning to operate in more and more.
For quite some time I have been quite torn about where God would want me this
academic year, finagling every way I could to stay on the fence; and once Yale
looked pretty much decided, finagling some more to get back to China. It was a
trust issue. I have been through an intense time of eighty days of wilderness
from which I am finally emerging. I believe perhaps half of the wilderness was
specifically appointed by God, and furthermore it is quite possible that the
latter forty days were a product of my own stubbornness, leading me to stay
there; even though the Shepherd was gently asking me to come out with Him.
He is good. He really does leave the ninety-nine to go get the one stubborn one
such as myself, even if He has to break its leg and then carry Him the rest of
the way so that it can learn to trust Him. This is how the shepherds used to do
it in ancient Israel.
Coming back to Yale was a scary decision, but the breakthrough brought me to the
end of myself and I finally surrendered everything to God; absolutely
everything. Every aspect of my future. All of my past and regrets. My laptop
and all that was on it was stolen this summer and many more items that I used
to find comfort in; and I am happier than ever. Funny how that works isn't it.
He loses His life will gain it, and he who tries to save His life will lose it.
Also, I have painfully learned, he who exalts himself will be humbled and he who
humbles himself will be exalted. When the Lord graciously invites you to His
party, don't take the front row seat; chances are He will ask you to step down
and it's never fun. Instead take the lowest, humblest seat and He, in His
kindness and love, will ask you to move up.
Anyway, I have been learning to repent for believing in lies and then replacing
it with truth. One example is repenting of thinking that the NKJ (New King
James) Version of the Bible is somehow superior to other versions of the Bible.
This simply is not true. I repented of this on the airplane ride over to New
York on my way to Yale and had to cover my face with the blanket on the plane
to spare people my tear-drenched grimaces. I had arrogantly read the NKJV for
the past year often being unclear in many areas due to an agreement I made many
years ago before I was a Christian simply because of the religious environment I
was raised in. In a word: baggage. I have begun to repent for so much baggage
that I have brought in to my relationship with my Papa God. (You Tube "who
turned off my brain" and watch Dr. Caroline Leaf explain the science behind
renewing the mind, repentance, forgiveness, and healing; it will set you free
of so many misconceptions and give you a concrete idea of what the above
concepts look like physiologically)
On a more severe note. I have repented of believing that I am a bad student, a
lie that originated in my childhood with my earthly father telling me often
times that I wasn't very bright. I have also forgiven him and replaced it with
truth and already seen the Lord's supernatural work in making me a better
student as God made me to be and as was prophesied of me at Bethel church in
Redding, California this last July (please check out their website and their
podcasts (they will change your life): www.ibethel.org)
These are but a couple of examples. I have learned to stop believing the lie
also that somehow I am big enough to mess up God's plan. My wilderness time
came predominantly from believing that somehow I had missed the boat called
"the God life intended for you". That was the breakthrough and I repented for
judging God and basically calling Him a liar when He tells me that all things
work together for good for those who love Him. As a friend taught me today I
was a "me always ever" person; a person who believes everything is their fault.
Then there are the "not me always never" people who just simply wash their hands
of everything. I have come to this conclusion: I have 100% free will and God is
100% (I will even go as far as to say 110% or infinitely more) in control and
knows all things. Don't ask me to spell it out. It is just what I have learned,
now by experience, not just as my theology. However, not just that, but that God
is a good God and that His Grace is truly amazing. He is in a good mood all the
time! And He loves us so much!
Today really brought that home for me. There is no such things as supposed to or
meant to be with God, at least not in our terms. We are meant to simply BE. BE
PRESENT in His presence all the time. Seek first His kingdom and all these
things will be added to you, Jesus said. Regrets are a waste of time and so is
worrying about the future. Release, repent, forgive, and surrender! Please
people, and begin to experience life abundant in Him.
Today I was getting to the end of myself again, straying again into the "what am
I supposed to do with my life" and here is the one that kills me "for God" rut.
Getting overwhelmed by all the options and potential "futures" that actually
don't exist outside of our minds. As C.S. Lewis puts is in his book the Screw
Tape Letters, the enemy loves to get us to think and pray about things that
don't even exist. Moment to moment worship and dependence is the key and that
is what Satan really hates.
I couldn't handle it anymore so I stepped out of a science course I was shopping
and walked back to my dorm and recognized a student who had given his testimony
over the weekend and I came up to him and just bluntly asked him if he could
pray for me.
There are two parts of the Bible I would love to allude to for a moment: Samuel
10 and a verse at the beginning of 2 Corinthians.
Samuel 10 is about, essentially, this scavenger hunt that the Lord sends the
newly anointed King Saul on and at the end of the personally tailored journey,
Saul receives a new heart.
Then, the verse in 2 Corinthians talks about how we are wasting away on the
outside but being renewed constantly on the inside and another great part of
this part of scripture is how the Lord has given us His Spirit as a deposit of
whats to come (2 Cor 5:5)
I have two major changes in my heart, renewals, that have occurred
simultaneously as I have been wasting away on the outside. I can enjoy talented
musicians and I am blessed by anyone who prays for me. First off, comparison,
pride,envy and low self-esteem kept me from being able to enjoy good music,
especially live, especially when it was people I knew personally and with the
latter issue on prayer I was simply a spiritual snob. Just a couple of examples
and I Praise Him for the work He is doing in my heart. Another work He is doing
in my heart that I will elaborate on more on some later occasion is being 100%
honest 100% of the time (no more white lies or exaggeration, etc.). More on
this in a future blog I hope.
So back to the story. I pray with this amazing guy name Zach(ck?) and just let
it all out. It is amazing how helpful it is at times to pray with others. He
then pointed me to Josh's Bible Study, a guy who I have gotten to know some
over the past couple of weeks who attends Yale Divinity School. So at 7:30
today I go over to Ezra Stiles college and am heavily burdened but leave
everything aside and just go.
This is very similar to how the Lord, as I arrived at the Yale campus at around
midnight August 26th, orchestrated my meeting with Kevin and Alice, the lovely
a capella singers and my dear friend, which led me to go to the Yale Students
for Christ retreat which was exactly what I needed right after the wilderness;
and during the retreat the Lord performed powerful healing work in my heart and
even played me music as He has in times past (maybe more on this later, I will
be taking a course on Christian mysticism this term so am I excited to explore
ecstasy in the Lord more deeply (ecstasy means to stand outside yourself=
ec-stasis)).
As I am walking more and more closely to Him and leaving all my regrets and
worries aside and learning to rejoice in Him always, though sometimes
concomitantly sorrowful as Paul speaks of, I am realizing that as soon as we
open our eyes to the cross and His Grace, His magic happens.
This Bible study tonite really sealed it for me. It is exactly what I had asked
God for; a group of people who at any cost wanted to see the Spirit of God
move. Tonite's Bible study was only supposed to be a couple of hours long and
it turned into over five hours of prayer, worship, visions, prophecy,
spontaneous teaching, prophetic drawing and just whatever the Spirit wanted to
do. I am so thankful to be at Yale right now in the midst of a revival where
the Spirit of God is dispelling darkness, disease and disbelief.
And God knit it all together; everyone there had a purpose and through this
group we are aiming to discover who God has made us to be (not just career wise
or all those petty worldly terms, but who we ARE, just as He is I AM, He wants
us to know who we ARE to walk in our royal authority every moment). Thank you
Jesus. Just one example I will share, because I am sure that as the year
unfolds I will understand that this past year of difficulty and many follies
such as spiritual pride, complacency, stubbornness, judgment, among other
things, God used to bring me to a place to be a worker here at Yale and also to
finally accept His precious healing before He fully sends me out. I would love
to write a post some time called " The Prodigal Pharisee" because that is what
I was.
One little example and then I will sign off for now. The testimony that is
accumulating here at Yale and the prophetic words would take me all day to
write, so just this one little example; this really drove it home, not to say
that everything that has happened in the past two weeks, from Papa providing a
laptop, giving me prophetic dreams, and so much more wasn't enough, but that's
the thing; He has infinite store houses and as long as we start understanding
that we are princes and princesses will we truly be able to freely ask and
receive and then freely give as we freely receive.
I have been preaching the Gospel like a crazy fiend here on this campus and it
has been from a place unlike I have never know before. He who is forgiven much
loves much. I am determined to pour out my life for Jesus and His Gospel as
that woman did as she broke that alabaster container of perfume on Jesus' feet,
of such worth, a years wages, that it could have been a dowry to remarry and get
out of the social level of prostitute; but she poured it out on Jesus' feet. The
Pharisee didn't even kiss Jesus or put oil on His head, because He didn't think
He needed to be forgiven. Read the story in the Gospel of John Chp 12. He who
realizes how much he or she has been forgiven loves much. We are all sinners
that is why Jesus said that even if you look lustfully upon a woman you have
already committed adultery with her in your heart and if you are angry at your
brother you have committed murder. We are all capable of atrocious things.
Think about it.
To the story. I have been witnessing up and down. I even got to share my
testimony with the Master of my college and He was very intrigued, surprisingly
since at Yale Christians aren't considered the smartest people on campus to say
the least ( he was especially interested in contemplative prayer) and I have
even been able to offer prophetic words to unbelievers that resonate with their
lives and leave them with a feeling of awe that something more than eloquent
speech is at work here, giving the the Gospel that extra umph, that love
encounter with the all knowing and all powerful God.
About a week ago I was catching up with a friend from freshman year and
ultimately as is usually the case all my conversations end with Jesus, as Paul
exhorts us to have all of our conversation be becoming of Christ. So I shared
the Gospel with him in a way I had never shared before and long story short at
the end of the conversation He was in tears and He kept telling me that He
could see that this was real love but that he wouldn't call it Jesus and that
that was just what I called it and then a spirit of boldness came over me and I
just kept repeating to Him, "A man named Jesus who is God came and became man to
understand everything you go through and to die for you." Maybe three times I
repeated it and then I held him in my arms and prayed for Him and told Him all
I perceived God wanted me to tell him and He was bawling. He had a love
encounter with our Lord Jesus. Lets drop the apologetics people, you do not
need to apologize for the truth.
The beauty of truly understanding His Grace is that you start stepping out in
faith and you are no longer afraid to make mistakes and through the humility
that He grows in us we are able to learn from the mistakes and become more and
more like Him. That is the beauty of living in an atmosphere of Grace. Peter
walked on water and then sunk but Jesus caught him. Jesus will always catch us.
As a new friend taught me today, "Plead Jesus!". You are completely justified
before God. If the enemy tries to come in and condemn, read Him your rights and
Plead Jesus!!
What blew me away today was that almost everything I shared at the Bible study
was connected to other people there. One girl who was really struggling in
understanding God's will, when she heard about my friend, had to bud in and
mention how she had been praying for the guy I shared with all summer long and we all rejoiced at
how the Lord uses the entire body to bring in the harvest and especially when we
do only what we see the Father doing; and the harvest is unspeakable!
I leave this blog with this. A revival is coming to this planet. A massive
revival and part of that is about to explode here in the North East and
especially here at Yale. When I came in as a freshman and I wasn't a Christian
the atmosphere was completely different. The bowl of intercession is about to
spill over and revival is going to hit this place. The freshman class is rife
with strong Christians and people are coming to know the Lord left and right.
Years of prayer and intercession, and now the harvest is ready and the workers
are here and we are operating under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and in an
atmosphere of Grace! Thank you Lord Jesus! and brace yourselves!!
Love and Peace and Joy everlasting
Christian
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Merry Christmas
It has been nearly three months since my last blog post. There is no possible way I could adequately report everything that has occurred in the past three months. One thing is certain though, God is so good. Often people encourage me to record more of God's faithfulness in my life in written form and perhaps as I continue to grow I will, but right now I am just trusting that there truly is new manna to be had ever single day. I don't want to get hung up on old glories but trust that He who is in me is a living God that never grows weary, and I will always wait on Him (Isaiah 40: 28-31) I also take heart in the following verse:
"For he will not dwell unduly on the days of his life, because God keeps him busy with the joys of his heart" Ecclesiastes 5: 20
This past three months can be neatly summarized into the above verse from Ecclesiastes. I have been unable to focus on the wondrous things that have been occurring or, indeed, the echoes of a wounded past long enough to turn my sight from the prize that is the knowledge of Jesus Christ; for this I am eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father as I pray that the transformative work that He has begun this year will continue by His gracious hand well unto the Lord's second coming. For this there is also a promise I confidently hold on to:
"...for your fellowship in the gospel form the first day until now, being confident of this very thing, the He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ..." Phillipians 1: 6
I began my fellowship with the gospel this year in March and now in December as my eyes well up with tears as I think about the true meaning of Christmas, I collapse to my knees in gratefulness and humility before our God for taking a broken individual like myself and making me feel again. God's kneading of my heart has been done gently and effectively in the past nine months and I am excited to continue growing in Him to become a man who can read the following verse and not become indignant with pride but humbly realize the continuous work that is in me by the sacrifice of our Lord Jesus:
"As in water face reflects face, So a man's heart reveals the man" Proverbs 27: 19
One year ago, I wouldn't dare look into my heart, for fear of my own reflection, as a man with a disfigured face looking into the water, indignantly splashing away the reflection to return to his mask where darkness conceals his true identity and light is stubbornly avoided in fear of those around him seeing him for what he is. I was such a man a year ago; a sliver of what I could be. However, when I took off my mask and looked into that water, I met my Creator. He saw me for everything I really was, every secret thing whether good or evil (Ecclesiastes 12:14), and embraced me. He hasn't let me go since, and I trust He never will. Now when I look at that water, I can see more and more of the face that God originally intended for me when He first created me. I look into my heart and I no longer shudder at the abomination I had become, but weep genuine globs of joy as I marvel at the mercy of our God, the Creator of Heaven and Earth. This Christmas, I just want to thank God for the greatest gift of all, a Saviour for all people to be reconciled to Him, Immanuel, "God is with us". This has been the most special Christmas season for me, so I pray the same for all of you; may all of you rejoice wherever you are during this Christmas season.
Soon, I will put up a recap of the past three months. Thank you for reading. God Bless you all. Merry Christmas
Christian
"For he will not dwell unduly on the days of his life, because God keeps him busy with the joys of his heart" Ecclesiastes 5: 20
This past three months can be neatly summarized into the above verse from Ecclesiastes. I have been unable to focus on the wondrous things that have been occurring or, indeed, the echoes of a wounded past long enough to turn my sight from the prize that is the knowledge of Jesus Christ; for this I am eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father as I pray that the transformative work that He has begun this year will continue by His gracious hand well unto the Lord's second coming. For this there is also a promise I confidently hold on to:
"...for your fellowship in the gospel form the first day until now, being confident of this very thing, the He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ..." Phillipians 1: 6
I began my fellowship with the gospel this year in March and now in December as my eyes well up with tears as I think about the true meaning of Christmas, I collapse to my knees in gratefulness and humility before our God for taking a broken individual like myself and making me feel again. God's kneading of my heart has been done gently and effectively in the past nine months and I am excited to continue growing in Him to become a man who can read the following verse and not become indignant with pride but humbly realize the continuous work that is in me by the sacrifice of our Lord Jesus:
"As in water face reflects face, So a man's heart reveals the man" Proverbs 27: 19
One year ago, I wouldn't dare look into my heart, for fear of my own reflection, as a man with a disfigured face looking into the water, indignantly splashing away the reflection to return to his mask where darkness conceals his true identity and light is stubbornly avoided in fear of those around him seeing him for what he is. I was such a man a year ago; a sliver of what I could be. However, when I took off my mask and looked into that water, I met my Creator. He saw me for everything I really was, every secret thing whether good or evil (Ecclesiastes 12:14), and embraced me. He hasn't let me go since, and I trust He never will. Now when I look at that water, I can see more and more of the face that God originally intended for me when He first created me. I look into my heart and I no longer shudder at the abomination I had become, but weep genuine globs of joy as I marvel at the mercy of our God, the Creator of Heaven and Earth. This Christmas, I just want to thank God for the greatest gift of all, a Saviour for all people to be reconciled to Him, Immanuel, "God is with us". This has been the most special Christmas season for me, so I pray the same for all of you; may all of you rejoice wherever you are during this Christmas season.
Soon, I will put up a recap of the past three months. Thank you for reading. God Bless you all. Merry Christmas
Christian
Thursday, September 25, 2008
God is Good!
All the time. God is Good. I am in to my third week in China, and the Lord has been so faithful; no surprise of course.
Our trip to Guilin in Southern China was fantastic. It was beautiful. It is very seldom I see new things, being relatively well traveled (by His Grace of course), but the lime stone formations of Guilin were absolutely breathtaking. As opposed to S. Korea and their hyperbolic statements about their national patrimony China has quite handsomely lived up to its claims.
China so far has been nothing more than me running into the unexpected surprises to my erred stereotypes, and the most taxing aspect of China so far has been adjusting to the pollution. Thanks to all who prayed for me; I was able to evade sickness and am now quite healthy, so much so that I auditioned for praise team at a youth group that I found (Praise Him!) and performing at an American Idol rip-off this coming Saturday.
Right before China I had been in England on what had been an extremely humbling trip. I came to China and although everything has been stellar, I was yearning for a spiritual community to serve and be served at. The enemy, namely Satan of course, had been trying to attack me and discourage me. Fortunately though, I believe my request for prayer was taken to heart by several and such attacks were subdued.
I have never really addresses the issue of Satan in my blog. He is a very real aspect of existence. No one in this universe could dissuade me of this fact. I hate to be trite but I believe indeed that Satan's greatest success is to get people to disbelieve in him.
Satan means adversary. He is that of God, particularly out to get those who love Christ, even more particularly those who trust God above all things; not to mention that his methods are low. Peter in one of his epistles tells us that Satan is like a lion simply awaiting to devour us. He usually takes what we care about most and uses it against us. This can take various forms ranging form homesickness to even physical injury.
I am sure most people are aware of the lore ( that I believe word for word by the way) of how this entity came to be what he is today. So I won't go into that. What I will address however is the way the Bible clearly declares that Satan is the prince of this world, which would help make sense at why so much is as it is in our world; particularly because the Bible also clearly states that Satan more often than not manifests as an angel of light ( I mean he was an Archangel of God if I'm not mistaken, pretty high up there), often taking something pure and beautiful and making a perfect counterfeit tinged with just enough lies and deceit that it is quite wide of the mark. The Bible also clearly tells us that when Satan lies, he is speaking his native tongue. So if you had trouble with high school Spanish, imagine how hard it is for Satan to tell the truth. Excuse my facetiousness; in other words Satan is the king of deceit.
He loves to attack us through lies. He loves to use our thoughts against us. In order to combat this, the Bible clearly instructs us to take our thoughts captive and not vice-versa. This reminds me of when I was at heartland missions ( the mission trip I took in rural S. Korea). During all the training I was under heavy fire. His lies were fiery arrows raining down from the spiritual world. For this reason the Shield of Faith spoken of in Ephesians is so important! So when being attacked by lies, don't forget to summon it! Not to mention the other essentials of spiritual warfare mentioned in Ephesians. If your memory is rusty, review it. If you have no idea what I am talking about, check out the book of Ephesians in the New Testament. Absolutely genius! It will help you understand The Chronicles of Narnia so much more; in case you are interested. By the way The Chronicles of Narnia are all about Jesus*cough* Aslan* cough* Anyway, to my story....
His fiery arrows of deceit were making me believe that I was disliked by many of the members of the team (completely erroneous I later found out by the Grace of God and His Word); this fact was greatly discouraging me about going on the trip.
It is funny how many Christians say that you can't just open the Bible and find answers. From personal experience, I tend to disagree. I believe that the Bible is as powerful as you concede to be, and to me it is the most powerful and authoritative Book in the universe. More times than I can count, I have opened up the Bible after praying, arbitrarily it would seem, and there comes the answer. This is how my conversion happened. Listen to my testimony. A very similar thing happened to Augustine when he became a Christian.
I recommend Augustine's Confessions to all. In a similar vein to this blog, however tons more eloquent and full of scripture. To make my point, I'll fast forward to his conversion. Augustine was not a Christian and had been living firstly a heavily Epicurean lifestyle followed by several years involved in the Manichaean religion, both of which were not doing much for the health of his soul ( the only thing that can fill that void is God, as he soon found out). Augustine wanted to learn rhetoric, so he went to Milan to study under the master of rhetoric Ambrose. Ambrose was a Christian, a bishop to be precise. Augustine however went to listen to how Ambrose expressed himself and not what he was speaking of, God and Jesus.
One day however, Augustine was sitting at a bench and could hear a couple of little girls singing a jump rope song. In Italian the little girls were saying, "take and read, take and read, take and read..." in a rhythmic and repetitive melody. Listening to this, he looked over and there on the bench lay a Bible. He picked it up, opened it up and it opened up to Romans 13:13-14:
"Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy./ But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lusts."
BAM! Like a ton of bricks God's grace falls on Augustine and he becomes a follower of Christ. I have a similar story; listen to my testimony (copy and paste the link in to the browser from my Sept. 9th post). Oh, and please take and read; the Lord wants to speak to every single one of us, and He knows exactly what we need to hear. It worked for Augustine, it worked for me. We are all unworthy of His Grace, yet it's there for the taking, free of charge! Hallelujah! Faith is our shield, and the Word of God is our Sword against the enemy! So take and read and sharpen that Sword!
Back to my story about missions in S. Korea. So the arrows are flying at me from all over. However, after praying sincerely to the Lord, I open my Bible and it graciously opens to Nehemiah 6:8:
" Then I sent to him, saying, "No such things as you say are being done, but you invent them in your own heart."
I read this, and a huge burden was relieved. I spoke to my peers and the arrows disappeared. Satan's measly arrows are no match for the Shield of Faith and the Sword of the Spirit that is the Word of God. Don't forget the other gear inn Ephesians though! (By the way, the probability of how I open up the Bible to perfect and concise answers can be nothing but supernatural, especially because before March of this year I had never actually read the Bible; not to mention that every time it has happened it has been in books I have never read. I am so excited to get to know my Bible more, how much more effective it will become! The Word of God!)
Moral of the story: the enemy attacks, but the Lord has given us more than necessary means to deflect the cheap and petty attacks of the enemy.
An argument many non-believers make against Christianity is why would an all-knowing and good God would allow bad things to happen. To tackle this question I would recommend C.S. Lewis' The Problem of Pain. I am in the middle of it. It tackles this question masterfully. I will not tackle this question in this particular blog post. However, I will say that without proper knowledge of the Bible the that argument is a moot point, and honestly beyond our understanding, If you ever have a chance check out The Problem of Pain, not to mention the Bible!
To end with this, we just need to remember that Satan is the prince of this world. He did, after all, tempt Jesus by offering dominion over all the kingdoms of the world; of course he would, rather that than let him liberate all of humanity from his clutches of sin and deceit. However, Praise God, the prophecies were fulfilled and the Lamb of God was slain so that we may all be free, and I really pray that my life can be a living testimony of that! Jesus really does save! Hallelujah!
But just because Satan is the prince of this world doesn't mean it is all bad news. If anything, God has simply incorporated it into his perfect plan in this flawed system. Jesus is, after all, the King of Kings, and Satan but a mere prince. A spoiled and envious prince is always bound to go astray and cause some trouble, but the King will always have His final word, and Jesus will. Mark my words.
Not only that but our most perfect and benevolent Father clearly explains to us in Romans through His servant the Apostle Paul that it would be impossible for us to perceive his unending mercy if all was honky-dory . Not only that, but how else would we grow. I don't know the exact details of how the angels and principalities duke it out in the spiritual realm, but I do trust the following, James 1: 2-8:
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,/knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience./ But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing./ If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him./ But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind./ For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything form the Lord;/ he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."
It's funny that when I was heavily looking into Buddhism and wrote my first song Waves, I thought being like a wave was a good thing, but even before the Bible confirmed it, I knew there was a giant void in my heart and I was being flung across jagged rocks by the storm of life. However, now, I simply trust in the Lord, ask for wisdom, which He gives us liberally. And now I hang on tight to the Rock that is our Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ and when the storms hit, I count it joy, for I am bearing a cross with my Savior, and my character being refined as a stone also does through extensive weathering; Praise God!
Don't let Satan disabuse you of your freedom by taking advantage of out innate double-mindedness, but let's hang on to the Rock that is Jesus Christ.
Amen.
Praise God for the relative clarity above. Departing now from the arrows shot at me here at me in China, the past three weeks have been filled with a cornucopia of wondrous manna graciously bestowed to me by our Father God, new everyday. I have gotten extremely encouraging messages from readers of the blog, long lost friends that had been convicted to pray for me (Praise God), friends that by the Grace of God shown in my life have been convicted to move closer to God through Christ, and not to mention Praise reports from home in Oregon to Japan where prayer has been answered in a beautifully orchestrated fashion, something I have come to naturally expect from our sovereign Lord of the universe. Perhaps I will share more details about these stories of Grace in subsequent blogs.
I have found a strong fellowship here in Beijing at BICF (Beijing International Christian Fellowship). One day with very limited information, by volition of the Spirit, I jumped in a cab with a friend and the Spirit graciously led me and my friend right to the fellowship right as it was beginning, and I was able to get directly prayed over for the first time in a couple of weeks. Praise God. This fellowship has led to so many more gracious and divinely orchestrated meetings from making friends with tons of precious people from Burundi ( I country I had never heard of! ) to running into the friend of the man who convicted me to come to China in the first place back in May. So much more I could tell, but maybe more in subsequent blogs. Like how the pastor who gave the first service I went to here happened to have the same birthday as me, also to those who are prayer inclined, I was prophesied over about having three doors opening up this year for me of a completely new nature. Pray that I am able to discern what the Lord's will is concerning these doors this year, and also pray for my studies, and that I be filled to the brim with love and humility so that I may, although poorly at best, continue to develop and display, as fully as God's Grace will allow me, the character of Christ to all of those here.
As a final praise report, seeing how hungry Chinese young people are for God has made me jump up and down in Praise continuously. Please pray for them, for a hedge of protection and for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit on their lives as they jump out in faith to get to know God through Jesus Christ, and please also pray for my compatriots here as well. God couldn't have placed me with a better group of people; I love every single one of them.
As always, questions and/or comments are always welcome.
adam.young-valdovinos@yale.edu
Proverbs 27: 10:
"As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend"
Let's keep asking questions and seeking Him. And if you think I am crazy I'd love to hear about it. Let's keep sharpening each other.
Peace, Love, and Grace to all,
Christian
Our trip to Guilin in Southern China was fantastic. It was beautiful. It is very seldom I see new things, being relatively well traveled (by His Grace of course), but the lime stone formations of Guilin were absolutely breathtaking. As opposed to S. Korea and their hyperbolic statements about their national patrimony China has quite handsomely lived up to its claims.
China so far has been nothing more than me running into the unexpected surprises to my erred stereotypes, and the most taxing aspect of China so far has been adjusting to the pollution. Thanks to all who prayed for me; I was able to evade sickness and am now quite healthy, so much so that I auditioned for praise team at a youth group that I found (Praise Him!) and performing at an American Idol rip-off this coming Saturday.
Right before China I had been in England on what had been an extremely humbling trip. I came to China and although everything has been stellar, I was yearning for a spiritual community to serve and be served at. The enemy, namely Satan of course, had been trying to attack me and discourage me. Fortunately though, I believe my request for prayer was taken to heart by several and such attacks were subdued.
I have never really addresses the issue of Satan in my blog. He is a very real aspect of existence. No one in this universe could dissuade me of this fact. I hate to be trite but I believe indeed that Satan's greatest success is to get people to disbelieve in him.
Satan means adversary. He is that of God, particularly out to get those who love Christ, even more particularly those who trust God above all things; not to mention that his methods are low. Peter in one of his epistles tells us that Satan is like a lion simply awaiting to devour us. He usually takes what we care about most and uses it against us. This can take various forms ranging form homesickness to even physical injury.
I am sure most people are aware of the lore ( that I believe word for word by the way) of how this entity came to be what he is today. So I won't go into that. What I will address however is the way the Bible clearly declares that Satan is the prince of this world, which would help make sense at why so much is as it is in our world; particularly because the Bible also clearly states that Satan more often than not manifests as an angel of light ( I mean he was an Archangel of God if I'm not mistaken, pretty high up there), often taking something pure and beautiful and making a perfect counterfeit tinged with just enough lies and deceit that it is quite wide of the mark. The Bible also clearly tells us that when Satan lies, he is speaking his native tongue. So if you had trouble with high school Spanish, imagine how hard it is for Satan to tell the truth. Excuse my facetiousness; in other words Satan is the king of deceit.
He loves to attack us through lies. He loves to use our thoughts against us. In order to combat this, the Bible clearly instructs us to take our thoughts captive and not vice-versa. This reminds me of when I was at heartland missions ( the mission trip I took in rural S. Korea). During all the training I was under heavy fire. His lies were fiery arrows raining down from the spiritual world. For this reason the Shield of Faith spoken of in Ephesians is so important! So when being attacked by lies, don't forget to summon it! Not to mention the other essentials of spiritual warfare mentioned in Ephesians. If your memory is rusty, review it. If you have no idea what I am talking about, check out the book of Ephesians in the New Testament. Absolutely genius! It will help you understand The Chronicles of Narnia so much more; in case you are interested. By the way The Chronicles of Narnia are all about Jesus*cough* Aslan* cough* Anyway, to my story....
His fiery arrows of deceit were making me believe that I was disliked by many of the members of the team (completely erroneous I later found out by the Grace of God and His Word); this fact was greatly discouraging me about going on the trip.
It is funny how many Christians say that you can't just open the Bible and find answers. From personal experience, I tend to disagree. I believe that the Bible is as powerful as you concede to be, and to me it is the most powerful and authoritative Book in the universe. More times than I can count, I have opened up the Bible after praying, arbitrarily it would seem, and there comes the answer. This is how my conversion happened. Listen to my testimony. A very similar thing happened to Augustine when he became a Christian.
I recommend Augustine's Confessions to all. In a similar vein to this blog, however tons more eloquent and full of scripture. To make my point, I'll fast forward to his conversion. Augustine was not a Christian and had been living firstly a heavily Epicurean lifestyle followed by several years involved in the Manichaean religion, both of which were not doing much for the health of his soul ( the only thing that can fill that void is God, as he soon found out). Augustine wanted to learn rhetoric, so he went to Milan to study under the master of rhetoric Ambrose. Ambrose was a Christian, a bishop to be precise. Augustine however went to listen to how Ambrose expressed himself and not what he was speaking of, God and Jesus.
One day however, Augustine was sitting at a bench and could hear a couple of little girls singing a jump rope song. In Italian the little girls were saying, "take and read, take and read, take and read..." in a rhythmic and repetitive melody. Listening to this, he looked over and there on the bench lay a Bible. He picked it up, opened it up and it opened up to Romans 13:13-14:
"Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy./ But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lusts."
BAM! Like a ton of bricks God's grace falls on Augustine and he becomes a follower of Christ. I have a similar story; listen to my testimony (copy and paste the link in to the browser from my Sept. 9th post). Oh, and please take and read; the Lord wants to speak to every single one of us, and He knows exactly what we need to hear. It worked for Augustine, it worked for me. We are all unworthy of His Grace, yet it's there for the taking, free of charge! Hallelujah! Faith is our shield, and the Word of God is our Sword against the enemy! So take and read and sharpen that Sword!
Back to my story about missions in S. Korea. So the arrows are flying at me from all over. However, after praying sincerely to the Lord, I open my Bible and it graciously opens to Nehemiah 6:8:
" Then I sent to him, saying, "No such things as you say are being done, but you invent them in your own heart."
I read this, and a huge burden was relieved. I spoke to my peers and the arrows disappeared. Satan's measly arrows are no match for the Shield of Faith and the Sword of the Spirit that is the Word of God. Don't forget the other gear inn Ephesians though! (By the way, the probability of how I open up the Bible to perfect and concise answers can be nothing but supernatural, especially because before March of this year I had never actually read the Bible; not to mention that every time it has happened it has been in books I have never read. I am so excited to get to know my Bible more, how much more effective it will become! The Word of God!)
Moral of the story: the enemy attacks, but the Lord has given us more than necessary means to deflect the cheap and petty attacks of the enemy.
An argument many non-believers make against Christianity is why would an all-knowing and good God would allow bad things to happen. To tackle this question I would recommend C.S. Lewis' The Problem of Pain. I am in the middle of it. It tackles this question masterfully. I will not tackle this question in this particular blog post. However, I will say that without proper knowledge of the Bible the that argument is a moot point, and honestly beyond our understanding, If you ever have a chance check out The Problem of Pain, not to mention the Bible!
To end with this, we just need to remember that Satan is the prince of this world. He did, after all, tempt Jesus by offering dominion over all the kingdoms of the world; of course he would, rather that than let him liberate all of humanity from his clutches of sin and deceit. However, Praise God, the prophecies were fulfilled and the Lamb of God was slain so that we may all be free, and I really pray that my life can be a living testimony of that! Jesus really does save! Hallelujah!
But just because Satan is the prince of this world doesn't mean it is all bad news. If anything, God has simply incorporated it into his perfect plan in this flawed system. Jesus is, after all, the King of Kings, and Satan but a mere prince. A spoiled and envious prince is always bound to go astray and cause some trouble, but the King will always have His final word, and Jesus will. Mark my words.
Not only that but our most perfect and benevolent Father clearly explains to us in Romans through His servant the Apostle Paul that it would be impossible for us to perceive his unending mercy if all was honky-dory . Not only that, but how else would we grow. I don't know the exact details of how the angels and principalities duke it out in the spiritual realm, but I do trust the following, James 1: 2-8:
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,/knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience./ But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing./ If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him./ But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind./ For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything form the Lord;/ he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."
It's funny that when I was heavily looking into Buddhism and wrote my first song Waves, I thought being like a wave was a good thing, but even before the Bible confirmed it, I knew there was a giant void in my heart and I was being flung across jagged rocks by the storm of life. However, now, I simply trust in the Lord, ask for wisdom, which He gives us liberally. And now I hang on tight to the Rock that is our Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ and when the storms hit, I count it joy, for I am bearing a cross with my Savior, and my character being refined as a stone also does through extensive weathering; Praise God!
Don't let Satan disabuse you of your freedom by taking advantage of out innate double-mindedness, but let's hang on to the Rock that is Jesus Christ.
Amen.
Praise God for the relative clarity above. Departing now from the arrows shot at me here at me in China, the past three weeks have been filled with a cornucopia of wondrous manna graciously bestowed to me by our Father God, new everyday. I have gotten extremely encouraging messages from readers of the blog, long lost friends that had been convicted to pray for me (Praise God), friends that by the Grace of God shown in my life have been convicted to move closer to God through Christ, and not to mention Praise reports from home in Oregon to Japan where prayer has been answered in a beautifully orchestrated fashion, something I have come to naturally expect from our sovereign Lord of the universe. Perhaps I will share more details about these stories of Grace in subsequent blogs.
I have found a strong fellowship here in Beijing at BICF (Beijing International Christian Fellowship). One day with very limited information, by volition of the Spirit, I jumped in a cab with a friend and the Spirit graciously led me and my friend right to the fellowship right as it was beginning, and I was able to get directly prayed over for the first time in a couple of weeks. Praise God. This fellowship has led to so many more gracious and divinely orchestrated meetings from making friends with tons of precious people from Burundi ( I country I had never heard of! ) to running into the friend of the man who convicted me to come to China in the first place back in May. So much more I could tell, but maybe more in subsequent blogs. Like how the pastor who gave the first service I went to here happened to have the same birthday as me, also to those who are prayer inclined, I was prophesied over about having three doors opening up this year for me of a completely new nature. Pray that I am able to discern what the Lord's will is concerning these doors this year, and also pray for my studies, and that I be filled to the brim with love and humility so that I may, although poorly at best, continue to develop and display, as fully as God's Grace will allow me, the character of Christ to all of those here.
As a final praise report, seeing how hungry Chinese young people are for God has made me jump up and down in Praise continuously. Please pray for them, for a hedge of protection and for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit on their lives as they jump out in faith to get to know God through Jesus Christ, and please also pray for my compatriots here as well. God couldn't have placed me with a better group of people; I love every single one of them.
As always, questions and/or comments are always welcome.
adam.young-valdovinos@yale.edu
Proverbs 27: 10:
"As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend"
Let's keep asking questions and seeking Him. And if you think I am crazy I'd love to hear about it. Let's keep sharpening each other.
Peace, Love, and Grace to all,
Christian
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Forgot the Link
http://myjubileechurch.com/sermons/WNS/Testimony%20by%20Adam%20Young-Valdovinos.mp3
Listen at your own risk = ) and don't forget to read the post!
Christian
Listen at your own risk = ) and don't forget to read the post!
Christian
Hello China!
Greetings to all. I apologize for the long absence. Another ten days and it will have been a whole two months of absence, excessive even by my standards.
Korea wrapped up quite nicely. And home was a real blessing. I was also in the UK for about ten days before coming over here to China.
Speaking of Korea wrapping up, my testimony at Jubilee Church was a frightening experience. Many a time in the Bible, God is described as worthy of our trembling; for the whole month leading up to my testimony and as I prayerfully waited, I was literally trembling. Led by the Spirit, I shared unabashedly and honestly with the congregation about my life up until now. Completely a surprise to myself, the nearly 2 hour ordeal focused on pre-Jesus saving my life. So hopefully the stark contrast is made evident through this blog or knowing me. If you are so inclined to get to know my story better than you would probably like too and have a strong stomach, click on the link below. You can download it as an mp3. So if you rather put it on your Ipod, (if you don't mind listening to me ramble for two hours) that is possible as well. I simply pray that in anyway, if you happen to listen to the testimony I gave at Jubilee Church, you will be blessed. It also explains the name change. I will begin signing off as Christian starting with this blog.
So there was that, and also a truly blessed experience being a teacher at Vacation Bible School for countryside children in S. Korea. I had been quite strongly against going for several personal reasons, but the Spirit had convicted me about going, so I went. And boy, is it great when the Lord proves me wrong, which is more often than not. He knows far better than I. It turned out to be a real blessing. Even all the songs and dances I learned, many of which I was able to teach my ten year old sister when I was home. When I did, I found myself crying like a baby as we sang the chorus, hand motions and all, that went, "You made me, You saved me Lord." Wow, so simple yet so true. In the context of me not having cried for ten years, and that now my heart has been softened to the point to where I can understand that truth with my heart blows my mind. Praise God.
Home was so great. The two weeks I was home sped by like lightning. The most notable change was my brother. When I had first arrived he had nothing but mockery for my newfound Faith. During my time at home he came to Christ, and by the time I left he was asking me to pray for our family. Blessed be the Name of the Lord, for He is faithful. He answers prayer.
It's funny because, my brother was so incredulous about my new life in Jesus Christ that it got to the point of him getting belligerent. He would get even more belligerent when I would try to hold his hand, as he flung punches at my face. However, ultimately the love of Christ won him over.
The theme for the Vacation Bible School that we did was Fruit of the Spirit. And for the five days that we worked with the children, each day had a different theme. Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. These are only five of the nine spoken of in Galatians 5:22. It was truly beautiful to see these Fruit play out in the setting where before my worst was always brought out in me, home with those who love me most. It is true; those who love us and know us best can hurt us most, and we end up doing the things and saying the things we regret the most. However, this time it was different, and not by my effort but by the Fruit of the Spirit which is a gift from God, payed for in full by the Blood of Jesus Christ. Praise God. It was enough to make my cynical brother accept Christ into his heart. Now, ups and downs, he begins a beautiful walk. Thank you Lord.
What really brought it home though, was City Fest. City Fest was an event held in downtown Portland, OR right on the Water Front of the Columbia river. Leading up to it were months of service in the community, culminating in a weekend of Praising God in potentially one of the cities most contemptuous of God in the U.S. if not the world, relatively speaking of course. Twas a blessing. I was so blessed to praise with tens of thousands of people to the wonderful music of Chris Tomlin, Toby Mac, Kirk Franklin, among many others and see many come to Christ, including my own brother.
That was during my last weekend home. Leading up to that final blowout was a lot of time spent with my family, more than I have ever spent with them in all of my visits home in the past.
On August 26th, I departed from Manchester, England. It was a ten day trip, and I really want to thank my brother in Christ Michael Sadler, for making the trip a reality. It was eye-opening, not what I expected, extremely humbling and I may find myself in England doing graduate work sometime after 2011.
And now I am in China. This post is actually a very poor account of the past month and a half. I apologize. Really, so much has occurred in the past month and a half that it actually probably takes some more processing on my part before I relate it to all. Hopefully the link to my testimony shall provide most with sufficient blessing this time around. Regardless of how ridiculously busy I will probably be this term, and not to mention this year, I will try to write more often.
China so far has been great. Third day tomorrow. The paraOlympics are going on here on the Peking University, or Beida, Campus. I am immensely jet-lagged and looking forward to our excursion to Guilin tomorrow.
As a preview for something I may write about in the near future, I have been involved in a business venture connected to bio-plastic and all things sustainable for almost two years now. As things continue to develop I will put something together, and also let anyone who is interested know how to get involved.
Love,Peace, and Grace to All,
Christian
Korea wrapped up quite nicely. And home was a real blessing. I was also in the UK for about ten days before coming over here to China.
Speaking of Korea wrapping up, my testimony at Jubilee Church was a frightening experience. Many a time in the Bible, God is described as worthy of our trembling; for the whole month leading up to my testimony and as I prayerfully waited, I was literally trembling. Led by the Spirit, I shared unabashedly and honestly with the congregation about my life up until now. Completely a surprise to myself, the nearly 2 hour ordeal focused on pre-Jesus saving my life. So hopefully the stark contrast is made evident through this blog or knowing me. If you are so inclined to get to know my story better than you would probably like too and have a strong stomach, click on the link below. You can download it as an mp3. So if you rather put it on your Ipod, (if you don't mind listening to me ramble for two hours) that is possible as well. I simply pray that in anyway, if you happen to listen to the testimony I gave at Jubilee Church, you will be blessed. It also explains the name change. I will begin signing off as Christian starting with this blog.
So there was that, and also a truly blessed experience being a teacher at Vacation Bible School for countryside children in S. Korea. I had been quite strongly against going for several personal reasons, but the Spirit had convicted me about going, so I went. And boy, is it great when the Lord proves me wrong, which is more often than not. He knows far better than I. It turned out to be a real blessing. Even all the songs and dances I learned, many of which I was able to teach my ten year old sister when I was home. When I did, I found myself crying like a baby as we sang the chorus, hand motions and all, that went, "You made me, You saved me Lord." Wow, so simple yet so true. In the context of me not having cried for ten years, and that now my heart has been softened to the point to where I can understand that truth with my heart blows my mind. Praise God.
Home was so great. The two weeks I was home sped by like lightning. The most notable change was my brother. When I had first arrived he had nothing but mockery for my newfound Faith. During my time at home he came to Christ, and by the time I left he was asking me to pray for our family. Blessed be the Name of the Lord, for He is faithful. He answers prayer.
It's funny because, my brother was so incredulous about my new life in Jesus Christ that it got to the point of him getting belligerent. He would get even more belligerent when I would try to hold his hand, as he flung punches at my face. However, ultimately the love of Christ won him over.
The theme for the Vacation Bible School that we did was Fruit of the Spirit. And for the five days that we worked with the children, each day had a different theme. Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. These are only five of the nine spoken of in Galatians 5:22. It was truly beautiful to see these Fruit play out in the setting where before my worst was always brought out in me, home with those who love me most. It is true; those who love us and know us best can hurt us most, and we end up doing the things and saying the things we regret the most. However, this time it was different, and not by my effort but by the Fruit of the Spirit which is a gift from God, payed for in full by the Blood of Jesus Christ. Praise God. It was enough to make my cynical brother accept Christ into his heart. Now, ups and downs, he begins a beautiful walk. Thank you Lord.
What really brought it home though, was City Fest. City Fest was an event held in downtown Portland, OR right on the Water Front of the Columbia river. Leading up to it were months of service in the community, culminating in a weekend of Praising God in potentially one of the cities most contemptuous of God in the U.S. if not the world, relatively speaking of course. Twas a blessing. I was so blessed to praise with tens of thousands of people to the wonderful music of Chris Tomlin, Toby Mac, Kirk Franklin, among many others and see many come to Christ, including my own brother.
That was during my last weekend home. Leading up to that final blowout was a lot of time spent with my family, more than I have ever spent with them in all of my visits home in the past.
On August 26th, I departed from Manchester, England. It was a ten day trip, and I really want to thank my brother in Christ Michael Sadler, for making the trip a reality. It was eye-opening, not what I expected, extremely humbling and I may find myself in England doing graduate work sometime after 2011.
And now I am in China. This post is actually a very poor account of the past month and a half. I apologize. Really, so much has occurred in the past month and a half that it actually probably takes some more processing on my part before I relate it to all. Hopefully the link to my testimony shall provide most with sufficient blessing this time around. Regardless of how ridiculously busy I will probably be this term, and not to mention this year, I will try to write more often.
China so far has been great. Third day tomorrow. The paraOlympics are going on here on the Peking University, or Beida, Campus. I am immensely jet-lagged and looking forward to our excursion to Guilin tomorrow.
As a preview for something I may write about in the near future, I have been involved in a business venture connected to bio-plastic and all things sustainable for almost two years now. As things continue to develop I will put something together, and also let anyone who is interested know how to get involved.
Love,Peace, and Grace to All,
Christian
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