And why shouldn't it. I tune in everyday. That may seem like a bit of a contradiction given what I said in the last post about us playing in it, which we do also. But it is not a contradiction, rather it is a paradox. That is the beauty of God; He is a mystery and a paradox. Don't try to understand it in the empirical Western sense, embrace Him and His will and rejoice in the ride, trials and blessings, especially trials. For even Nietzche said, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." The Bible was, at least, several centuries ahead of him (Check out anything written by Apostle Paul in the New Testament). The Bible also says in Eccelsiastes that there are good times and bad times; He has appointed them both, so that we may not now what will come tomorrow; how exciting. Especially to know, that there is no causality outside of God. Speaking of that frame of mind. I am reading a very interesting book as of late called 2012: The Return of Quetzalcoatl. Daniel Pinchbeck, a shamanistic eccentric who experiments with psychedellic drugs who is also the author of the aforementioned book, has figured out a lot of things one can figure out through the Bible without all the shrooms. He actually does a pretty objective job of representing various sides regarding the Aztecs peculiar prediction of 2012 bringing a major shift consciousness for humanity. Maybe I'll go more into that, along with my own thoughts once I finish the book. It's a great read for anyone with an open mind, as is the Bible.
Speaking of orchestras and symphonies, I will be seeing the Philadelphia Philharmonice orchestra this weekend. I simply love orchestral music. Perhaps that is how I came up with my little metaphor for life. A month ago I was clueless about how I was going to eat. Not worried or vexed, just clueless, and God took care of the rest.
There have been many trials in the past couple of weeks. I may write about them someday, but not now. They are not relevant...yet. All I know is that God is good and mysterious. Along with all the beautiful little ditties, all the little things, orchestrated by Him which when looked at in all humility could fill up at least a thousand pages a day, give and take, depending on how much imagery one chose to include, I'll go ahead and talk about the latest Opus he has lead me in playing. This little bit reminds me of the very last verse in the Gospel of John:
"And there are also many other things that Jesus did, which if they were written one by one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that would be written. Amen"
That verse makes me beam. Especially knowing that these things still happen big and small, if only we humble ourselves and look around.
On to the Opus:
Literally right after the musical ended, a friend of mine, who is currently in Paris, asked me if I wanted to fill in for Him at his job for Arirang Radio, a government English radio station here in Korea with international reach. I said sure. He told me he had already offered the gig to someone else, but if that person turned it down, I could go in and audition.
I didn't think much of it at first. At this point. The musical having wound down, and I having made the bold decision to not go home and stay in Korea left me with more cluelessness about what I was going to do. I had some ideas, but none of them brought in any cash. This is the main reason for my somewhat desperate cry for help about a month ago for charity. Which is always appreciated of course. But more than the call for charity (look back a couple of blog posts), I believe it was a call to humble myself for I had never put myself in a spot quite that vulnerable before. I had thought that me getting a host family among everything else in the past posts, and everything else would be it, amid trials of course, but the sudden twists in the music have been spectacular.
Before getting to the Opus, which is really just the most recent development in my life here in Korea through Him. Emphasis on Him of course, for for Him is all the glory, I would like to recount one story from a little over a week ago. I just like the word opus.
During my finals week for Sogang, the day of my first final I ran into a horrid sight on my way to school. There were a couple of old men passing out bilingual new testaments with the Psalms and Proverbs. I would have considered this the horrid sight a few months ago, speaking from my academically arrogant and insecurity and pride laden pedestal which I had built so high so that no one could see what I really was, in a lot of ways and empty shell of a person. However, the horrid sight was to come about a hundred steps down the hill towards Sogang. Bibles piling up in the trash cans. Excuse me, but I would never throw away anyone's holy book. Who do these people think they are? My muslim friend was especially shocked. I would never throw a away a Koran or a Torah, only to name a couple major ones. On top of that, I really enjoyed the Tibetan book of the Dead when I read it; I would be heartbroken to see it in a trash can. Any book for that matter. However, more than any other book, seeing my favorite book, one which has changed my life forever (for real changed my life, not like 7 Habits for Effective Young People, no offense Sean Covey and maybe Stephen too, it just doesn't compare) I was overwhelmed with grief, some indignation, and then a little bit of a revelation.
There were three kind of people. What was interesting though, is that everyone was taking one. These old men were really good. There were few like me who were like, "Whoah! a free GIdeon's Bible in English and Korean! Awesome! The Beatles mentioned this version of the Bible in their song Rocky Racoon! Give me one!" There weren't many of us. Then there were the people who were at least respectful enough to leave the Bibles stacked further on down so that they could get to someone who really wanted them. Then, the mass majority were people who straight up have lost the fear and respect of anything holy. My heart broke for these people. Regardless of what anyone believes, this is exactly what this age has brought people to, egotism and a soul-destroying belief in self-suffiency. It only took two world wars to get us here. Many other things of course. Well, to move on to the rest of the story. This whole rant is an essay within itself.
So what did I do? Despite being a little late for my final, the only one I actually did relatively well on, I went through every trash can to get all the Bibles out. Maybe twenty total. So I carried the massive blue stack of plastic-bound Gideon bibles up to the 8th floor, all the way to far end of the hallway where my classroom was. I walked in, and people didn't even realize they were Bibles, but they did think I was kind of crazy, but people do anyway, I'm an artist, or at least I try to be. After the test ended, I looked up and realized that my Mormon friend was sitting across from me. I have learned a lot from this guy, about life and Mormonism, even checked out the Book of Mormon, interesting stuff. Mormon's are Christians who believe in Jesus and all, but they just have some extra stuff that's kind of interesting about the Americas. The ultimate authority for me is the Bible, but that doesn't keep me from checking out other stuff. Actually, there ultimate authority is the Bible too. Here I go rambling again, back to the story.
He saw me walk in with the Bibles, and we started talking a little. We started talking about how imporant it was not to be ashamed of what you believed in, regardless of what you believe, but especially as a follower of Christ, given the stigma. Even Christ told us it would be there. He said that they would hate me, and anyone else who follows Him because of Him, and in varying degrees of course. If people think the persecution ended with the simmering of the Catholic church among other things throughout the ages, they would be mistaken, especially Christians; that's one of the biggest misconceptions today. Don't be fooled. Think about it. Persecution is still there; it has actually taken more subliminal, hidden, and insidious forms. More on that in a subsequent blog perhaps.
Anyways, after talking about that for a little while, he then pulled out his favorite Bible verse, 1 Timothy 6-8:
"...For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord...."
He was impressed that such a "secular"-type guy like myself could love Jesus as much as I did; doing what he does, without the bike and the uncomfortable clothes; being who I am, nothing different different from who I was a few months ago in a lot of ways, but not being ashamed of what I cherish and believe. On that subject, I am exactly the same as before, except without a lot of what used to weigh me down: insecurities, etc. That is the power of Jesus Christ. I used to cuss so much. Just as one example. I have literally stopped altogether. I used to talk about how it was an imperative aspect of my personality. But truly thinking about it, it is something I developed in my early teenage years to try to prove I was more "bad-ass" than the guy next to me. The fact that I went from f-that, f-this, to now actually being funnier and just as accepted in all circles I've always been in, even the with the "bad-asses", and with new crowds too, because I have let go of identity in fake things, and over night, is a miracle in itself. But now to the climax of the story.
When he mentioned that verse, something stirred in me. It was my short-term memory. We had recieved Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat water bottles from an anonynmous doner the day before. And printed on these bottles was 1 Timothy 6-8. I got goosebumps. I pulled out the bottle and showed it to him, and I felt like David Blaine performing street magic. However, this was no illusion; this was real. And it wasn't a coincidence. You all know where I stand on that. It was divine orchestration. Through it he was finally moved, after some resistance, to come see the musical.
These are the little ditties I speak of that literally happen up and down. Daniel Pinch, from the book I mentioned earlier, calls them synchronicities. Although he knows that they come from a higher source, he is still trying to figure out exactly what, daimonic presences, shrooms, Ibogi gods from West African tribes or bardo spirits or string theory, etc are responsible for them. All I know is that I know it is God. And they are not just synchronicities but divine orchestration. So regardles of what you believe, be wary of arrogantly, due to pride, or cursorily, due to the system this world forces on us especially now with this so called "globalization", of dismissing these events. For the more you acknowledge them and let go, the more they happen.
Now for the opus, i.e. the most recent development. It is funny that the director of the Sogang language program called me today to make sure I wanted to send my transcript to the Light Fellowship today, because my final term had been so bad. My first two terms were really good, but I really bombed the final term, but I found comfort, as always, in the gospel. It says not to fear what can hurt you in this life, but only fear He who can do things to you after you die. I love how the Bible calls to civil disobedience; I am all about that sort of stuff. Too bad the world is trying to get people to stop believing in that...(cough)...Patriot Act....(cough). People now just give up their rights because of what the system tells them. It's not just the United States and the patriot act, globalization is making sure you can get your daily dose of fear and surrendering of liberty through your phone or PDA anywhere in the world. I need to stay focused.
It's funny that I got the job at Arirang, for the two weeks filling in, due to my outstanding Korean abilities. If only they knew I bombed my final term at Sogang, they probably wouldn't believe me; then I would show them, and they would laugh...with me. I thank the Light Fellowship from the bottom of my heart, because I really came to Korea thanks to them, and from day one gave a hundred and ten percent to everything I did. It just happen to be that school had to take a little bit of a back seat in the final term. Light Fellowship, thank you again.
I thought the blessing was just going to be the great pay check for the two weeks (which really would have been enough to put me over for the summer, but my God is the God of multiplcation; it is written!), but out of nowhere one of the girls who worked there got sick. So for my second week, this week, I started taking over for her, and they really like me. And now, I have gotten a full-summer-awesomely-paid-job. Not even the bulldogs program could have gotten me that, which I did last summer, which was also awesome! Now, with a major broadcasting company here in Asia, I am a newscaster;a hidden dream of mine ever since I started watching CNN. It is radio nonetheless, but anyone who knows me knows I hate shaving, so Hallelujah!
As I said, last week, the way I know it is really divine orchestration is that I was the person least blessed. The girl I am filling in for is going to get to go home to the states to see her family and get a well deserved vacation. She hasn't been back in forever. And her sickness wasn't really the issue, it was just that she really needed to take a break. So I mostly feel blessed that I was able to come in randomly (you know what I mean) and help answer her prayers right when she got sick. And if I get an awesome job for the summer, with awesome pay, that fits with my missions trip in July and my move to China in September, and also goes perfectly with the career I would pursue potentially, the fact that I now get to improve my Korean in the professional setting, and so much more, along the way, Glory be to my God, the God of Jacob! For He is good!
Another interesting little ditty, among so many, is that I was approached by Random House to help write a book about how to get an international education. The fact that for the past 3 months I have focused soley and God and then everything else, unlike how I used to live, everything else first, and then God, and now the fact that all things are coming together in the most mysterious(God!) ways blow my mind. God is real. I have already sent in some stuff and the editor loved it; however it goes, all my trust is in God. I wouldn't mind royalties though.
I'll end on a note I wish I could have ended on more while on Light Fellowship. A few days ago I got to see one of those huge protests I wrote papers about before coming to Korea. It was really interesting. Especially, because the cops in Korea really have nothing to do. They were all there.
The Korean university students (it is so great to see vestiges of democracy in action!) were protesting old nasty beef that the US is pushing on S. Korea, and Lee Myeong-Bak, Korea's new president is putting up no fight. I won't go into all of it in too much detail, but even this was a little ditty. It's always beautiful to see something you once did an assigment about come alive, much like the Busan film festival last Fall. So much has happened since then; it feels like forever. Then again, Eccelsiastes also tells us that He has put eternity in our hearts. Try to wrap your minds around that one. The Symphony goes on! Peace, Grace, and Love.
Adam
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
The Divinely Orchestrated Symphony
I am now officially finished with Sogang. It feels great. Objectively speaking, I did quite terrible this final term, but it is quite alright. I did what I could and for the essay portions of the test I wrote my testimony of what has happened to me in the past couple of months; the teachers were very moved.
For my speaking interview test it is no coincidence that the first question that the teacher asked was, "who is the most important person in your life?" There happened to be a crucifix in the room. I pointed at it, and an interview that was supposed to last fifteen minutes ended up lasting closer to two hours with tears in the teacher's eyes. There really is no other way I can look at it but to be completely confident that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.
I will be wrapping up all the logistics for the Light Fellowship in the next few days. I just want to take the chance to thank the Light Fellowship at this time for providing me the means to experience everything I have experienced this year. It has been edifying in every sense from the most trivial and mundane, to the highest and spiritual. The Light Fellowship is a life-changer, particularly the longer ones, so much so that I am staying in Korea until September now and going straight into China. If what the Light fellowship is aiming for is creating a new generation of leaders that are outstandingly knowledgeable and sensitive to East Asia and its culture, you guys are succeeding; I am a testament to that. Thank you, I hope more and more students continue to take advantage of the ridiculous gift of goodwill that you guys so graciously give. Richard U. Light would be proud.
Also, the musical has also wrapped up. It was spectacular, beyond words really. I have been in several productions, but never one this cohesive, full of chemistry, and above all, filled with love; it was pouring out from the stage out into the audience. God's hand was in it, because, honestly, it was not our strength nor out might. Had it been, it would have flopped, but for it to turn out the way it did, it was His Spirit; it was electric. Sublime. Celestial. There are no words.
The past 10 days or so, or however long since my last post about my knee, I have experienced many beautiful things. I used to always say I had already taken the red pill, but boy was I wrong. I now finally took it, and what a ride the rabbit hole is. There is no possible way I can highlight everything on this blog, but I will highlight the key points. It is too real to condense into a blog, it is a continuous form of existence that can only be experienced. However, before I get to Kierkegard on all of y'all, I'll get to the beautiful hard cold facts of the recent days.
To preface all of this, I just want to explain that for sometime now I had been convicted to stay in Korea. However, there was one teensy little problem; I had no idea how I was going to subsist or pull it together logistically, but boy is God good, and boy is prayer real. If any if you guys read a recent blog with my desperate cry for help, perhaps you will understand the dire need in which I was in. But ever since my knee was healed, having also experienced healing a week directly thereafter, the faith that is spoken of in the Gospels, the faith that makes complete has been not only present, but overly ubiquitous in my life and my day to day scene. Jehova jaira, boy does He provide, all in exchange for earnest and child-like faith and love.
There were two major problems in my way, in regards to staying in Korea. Money and visa issues. Now that the Light Fellowship was up, I had no money and housing in S. Korea is super expensive. I also had to at least do a visa run to Japan or someplace to keep my visa running, but there was no money for that either.
Funny thing is, I wasn't stressing out in the same way I used to stress about things. I was very calm and placid. I was still tithing like crazy, the way I have started to in the past couple of months, and I have been very giving with my money and resources. About two weeks ago, God prompted me to email the lady who made the documentary about me earlier this year; I had not spoken to her in ages. I actually felt quite awkward writing her. I broke the ice by talking about the musical. I then simply asked her if she knew of any cheap alternatives in Seoul because I was planning on staying through September. I didn't get a reply until about a week ago through a phone call.
When I picked up the phone, just from the tone of her voice, I was assuming she was just calling to be a polite Korean and say she was sorry there wasn't anything she knew about or could do. I had never insinuated anything about living with her, however she started saying, "Our place is too small...." Something I took as just an apologetic platitude. However, she kept going and started telling me how right when she got my email she was compelled to go to the real estate agent and start looking for a bigger place, found one, and asked me to move in with them at the beginning of June, exactly when my time at my current place runs out. She told me that her and her husband spoke, and they really couldn't explain it, but they just wanted to help me. They said the only condition was that I had to love their son as if he were my real brother. I said, "Deal."
There is more though, which is how I am convinced that it wasn't mere coincidence. This family had been wanting to move into a bigger place for a long time, but they didn't have the money, and they didn't foresee it happening until at least next year. But out of nowhere, just because she went that day, they were able to secure some special type of loan. Had she not gone that day with that clerk it may not have happened. That's when you know it really is God moving things, it wasn't just me being blessed, but this family as well, and when I read the email with the details of the whole ordeal I was blown away. Several of my prayers were answered too. I have a place to live, I have a place to eat, sleep, I have a family, I have a brother, these latter things being things I thought I had given up to do what I was called to do this Summer. God is good.
I am not doing most of this justice. I am a much better speaker than I am a writer. The other one I will relate is how really out of nowhere someone I hardly know knew to give exactly the money I needed to go to Japan for my visa run. Actually, that is pretty much it. Things like the above things have been happening up and down, and like I said, it is real. I also fasted for five days and that was also a very beautiful experience. I have been able to pray for over two hours straight and have it feel like five minutes, true prayer. The spiritual journey I started at fourteen when I started traveling the world on my own to experience something greater has finally entered the next phase, and what a surprise, although not too much so really, that it revolves around Jesus Christ.
I was baptized last saturday, and it as beautiful. I prayed the night before under the stars, and God sent me a shooting star. This is Seoul, that is virtually impossible. But nothing is impossible for God. I could literally write a 1000 pg book just on everything that has happened in the past 10-12 days. But I figure I need to do is just keep living, loving, and being obedient and be living testimony of what it's like to be free in Jesus Christ and truly alive. All of this not through church, but through the Bible and prayer, although church helps keep it together. I am not gushing about church or religion, I am gushing about the indescribable power of God, the God of Jesus, the God of Abraham and Jacob. Anyone feeling challenged, please read through Mark, second book in the new testament. Christian and non-Christian a like. I read a Koran. What's so wrong with checking out a Bible? I especially write this to people who think they are followers of Chirst when in reality they have no idea what is written in the Book their faith is supposed to revolve around and are too busy telling others they're wrong. That's not what I'm doing, ask to me to check something out and I will gladly do so.
I could go on forever, but perhaps if we ever meet in person I will know exactly which story will be the most uplifting for each and everyone of you.
The word coincidence was only invented because man has a problem accepting that there is something greater that is holding everything together. God resists the proud. What I have realized is that this life, this existence is a symphony. Once you surrender completely to the Grand Conductor you will never miss a beat, and that's because He never misses a beat. We need to learn to read the music, the Bible, and learn how to play our unique instruments, our abilities and gifts that He gave us, so that we can never miss a beat. Too many people, including myself for the longest time, are trying to play their own song, and it just doesn't compare. It only leads to strife, emptiness and dissatisfaction. We were all called to play first violin, if you will, for Him. There is a Divinely Orchestrated Symphony playing all around us with major and minor scales, ups and downs, tempo changes and the likes, but we have the answers and the conductor that will always stay in time and on the right measure. Think about it. Grace and Love.
For my speaking interview test it is no coincidence that the first question that the teacher asked was, "who is the most important person in your life?" There happened to be a crucifix in the room. I pointed at it, and an interview that was supposed to last fifteen minutes ended up lasting closer to two hours with tears in the teacher's eyes. There really is no other way I can look at it but to be completely confident that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.
I will be wrapping up all the logistics for the Light Fellowship in the next few days. I just want to take the chance to thank the Light Fellowship at this time for providing me the means to experience everything I have experienced this year. It has been edifying in every sense from the most trivial and mundane, to the highest and spiritual. The Light Fellowship is a life-changer, particularly the longer ones, so much so that I am staying in Korea until September now and going straight into China. If what the Light fellowship is aiming for is creating a new generation of leaders that are outstandingly knowledgeable and sensitive to East Asia and its culture, you guys are succeeding; I am a testament to that. Thank you, I hope more and more students continue to take advantage of the ridiculous gift of goodwill that you guys so graciously give. Richard U. Light would be proud.
Also, the musical has also wrapped up. It was spectacular, beyond words really. I have been in several productions, but never one this cohesive, full of chemistry, and above all, filled with love; it was pouring out from the stage out into the audience. God's hand was in it, because, honestly, it was not our strength nor out might. Had it been, it would have flopped, but for it to turn out the way it did, it was His Spirit; it was electric. Sublime. Celestial. There are no words.
The past 10 days or so, or however long since my last post about my knee, I have experienced many beautiful things. I used to always say I had already taken the red pill, but boy was I wrong. I now finally took it, and what a ride the rabbit hole is. There is no possible way I can highlight everything on this blog, but I will highlight the key points. It is too real to condense into a blog, it is a continuous form of existence that can only be experienced. However, before I get to Kierkegard on all of y'all, I'll get to the beautiful hard cold facts of the recent days.
To preface all of this, I just want to explain that for sometime now I had been convicted to stay in Korea. However, there was one teensy little problem; I had no idea how I was going to subsist or pull it together logistically, but boy is God good, and boy is prayer real. If any if you guys read a recent blog with my desperate cry for help, perhaps you will understand the dire need in which I was in. But ever since my knee was healed, having also experienced healing a week directly thereafter, the faith that is spoken of in the Gospels, the faith that makes complete has been not only present, but overly ubiquitous in my life and my day to day scene. Jehova jaira, boy does He provide, all in exchange for earnest and child-like faith and love.
There were two major problems in my way, in regards to staying in Korea. Money and visa issues. Now that the Light Fellowship was up, I had no money and housing in S. Korea is super expensive. I also had to at least do a visa run to Japan or someplace to keep my visa running, but there was no money for that either.
Funny thing is, I wasn't stressing out in the same way I used to stress about things. I was very calm and placid. I was still tithing like crazy, the way I have started to in the past couple of months, and I have been very giving with my money and resources. About two weeks ago, God prompted me to email the lady who made the documentary about me earlier this year; I had not spoken to her in ages. I actually felt quite awkward writing her. I broke the ice by talking about the musical. I then simply asked her if she knew of any cheap alternatives in Seoul because I was planning on staying through September. I didn't get a reply until about a week ago through a phone call.
When I picked up the phone, just from the tone of her voice, I was assuming she was just calling to be a polite Korean and say she was sorry there wasn't anything she knew about or could do. I had never insinuated anything about living with her, however she started saying, "Our place is too small...." Something I took as just an apologetic platitude. However, she kept going and started telling me how right when she got my email she was compelled to go to the real estate agent and start looking for a bigger place, found one, and asked me to move in with them at the beginning of June, exactly when my time at my current place runs out. She told me that her and her husband spoke, and they really couldn't explain it, but they just wanted to help me. They said the only condition was that I had to love their son as if he were my real brother. I said, "Deal."
There is more though, which is how I am convinced that it wasn't mere coincidence. This family had been wanting to move into a bigger place for a long time, but they didn't have the money, and they didn't foresee it happening until at least next year. But out of nowhere, just because she went that day, they were able to secure some special type of loan. Had she not gone that day with that clerk it may not have happened. That's when you know it really is God moving things, it wasn't just me being blessed, but this family as well, and when I read the email with the details of the whole ordeal I was blown away. Several of my prayers were answered too. I have a place to live, I have a place to eat, sleep, I have a family, I have a brother, these latter things being things I thought I had given up to do what I was called to do this Summer. God is good.
I am not doing most of this justice. I am a much better speaker than I am a writer. The other one I will relate is how really out of nowhere someone I hardly know knew to give exactly the money I needed to go to Japan for my visa run. Actually, that is pretty much it. Things like the above things have been happening up and down, and like I said, it is real. I also fasted for five days and that was also a very beautiful experience. I have been able to pray for over two hours straight and have it feel like five minutes, true prayer. The spiritual journey I started at fourteen when I started traveling the world on my own to experience something greater has finally entered the next phase, and what a surprise, although not too much so really, that it revolves around Jesus Christ.
I was baptized last saturday, and it as beautiful. I prayed the night before under the stars, and God sent me a shooting star. This is Seoul, that is virtually impossible. But nothing is impossible for God. I could literally write a 1000 pg book just on everything that has happened in the past 10-12 days. But I figure I need to do is just keep living, loving, and being obedient and be living testimony of what it's like to be free in Jesus Christ and truly alive. All of this not through church, but through the Bible and prayer, although church helps keep it together. I am not gushing about church or religion, I am gushing about the indescribable power of God, the God of Jesus, the God of Abraham and Jacob. Anyone feeling challenged, please read through Mark, second book in the new testament. Christian and non-Christian a like. I read a Koran. What's so wrong with checking out a Bible? I especially write this to people who think they are followers of Chirst when in reality they have no idea what is written in the Book their faith is supposed to revolve around and are too busy telling others they're wrong. That's not what I'm doing, ask to me to check something out and I will gladly do so.
I could go on forever, but perhaps if we ever meet in person I will know exactly which story will be the most uplifting for each and everyone of you.
The word coincidence was only invented because man has a problem accepting that there is something greater that is holding everything together. God resists the proud. What I have realized is that this life, this existence is a symphony. Once you surrender completely to the Grand Conductor you will never miss a beat, and that's because He never misses a beat. We need to learn to read the music, the Bible, and learn how to play our unique instruments, our abilities and gifts that He gave us, so that we can never miss a beat. Too many people, including myself for the longest time, are trying to play their own song, and it just doesn't compare. It only leads to strife, emptiness and dissatisfaction. We were all called to play first violin, if you will, for Him. There is a Divinely Orchestrated Symphony playing all around us with major and minor scales, ups and downs, tempo changes and the likes, but we have the answers and the conductor that will always stay in time and on the right measure. Think about it. Grace and Love.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
I am a Jesus Freak
Did that title catch your attention?
I experienced something ridiculous tonite. I experienced divine healing. I am not kidding. I almost feel ridiculous writing it or considering it, but I experienced it. I was at Wednesday service. I have been praying about my knee. Going to the doctor for physical therapy, I have been dealing with the "fact" that complete recovery will take at least 6-8 weeks. This is a fact that was not sitting too well with me. I even went into to my director today and told him I didn't think I could do most of the dances.
I met a man last week who approached us with a very interesting question: Where is your faith? This question, of course, he is relaying from God. It is easy to claim you have faith, but what if God were to say, you have gotten pretty good at praying and reading My Word, and attending church, but what about showing me your faith. That was tonite's message, a little bit of a rehash of last Sunday's guest's message.
Background on the guest: Dr. C, for the sake of safety and privacy.
He is a man with top credentials from both universities in S. Korea and in the states, with impressive post-doc work to boot. Despite all of this he said that in in his fist-sized heart he felt the vast emptiness of the entire universe. With the following question echoing in that endeless emptiness: " What have you done for God?"
To make a long story short (go to myjubileechurch.com to hear the entire sermon, amzing stuff really) he quit all that and decided to move to China. He initially went and taught as a professor and he befriended many of his students and would invite them to his apartment, and through that kindness and the wonder it sparked in his students, he showed them Jesus.
I really am not doing this man's story justice, so if you have time, please listen to the sermon; it is also quite entertaining. I promise you will roll around laughing, in pleasurable pain. He then decided he wanted to start a Christian school in Harbin, China, the place I will go this summer, however, he had no money. Despite the fact, he set a date and an ammount. January 10th. After months of praying, nothing came. As you may have guessed though, with the date approaching, he had acquired 50,000 dollars. On the night upon his departure to China, he had dinner with a pastor's wife who gave him a check. He figured it was money, and non-chalantly said, "anything helps," or something of that sort. When he arrived home, it irked him to find out how much was helping him get closer, on top of the already grand sum of 50,000, to the intended goal of 60,000 dollars. He was expecting 100 dollars or so. You may have guessed it...It was a check for 10,000 dollars! You really need to hear the sermon. This man is hilarious in his relating of this account. To only give a snippet, as he got on the plane to Beijing that night for a thirteen hour plane ride, being so excited and giddy, he found no other way to let out his joy than to go into to the bathroom stall, hug the toilet and scream into the flushing toilet. What a story, what a man, what a God!
Now with that out of the way. Tonight. My knee injury has truly been a struggle for me. I was praying for it and performing all the other procedures to make it better. However, being more humbled than ever tonite, I asked several people to pray over it. Sixth time is the charm as they say. When the sixth person laid hands on me and on my knee, I felt a literal something in my leg. At first, I just thought it was my leg going to sleep or something. It was a subtle kind of pins and needles feeling. The interesting thing is that she had asked me to get up from kneeling for her to pray for me. I was only on my knees for a couple of seconds, but that in itself was painful. But I was asking myself, "where is my faith." I know this my be hard for a non-believer to wrap their heads around, if you are still reading this at all. I would have been laughing at this post two paragraphs back myself a mere couple months ago. I really challenge anyone to read the Gospel. Read Mark or Matthew. I am sure you will like it. Remember, Christianity is one thing. I have not mentioned it once. It is not about Christianity. It is about Jesus Christ. A man I believed lived and still lives who is the Son of God. Read those books in the Bible. It says that Jesus performed miracles; he also said that those who believed in Him would have similar abilities. I have experienced several miracles and wonders in the past couple months, and now that I really think about it, my whole life. Tonight simply took it to an even more palpable realm.
After she prayed for me, I began to feel that my knee was different. I began to bend it, and there was no pain. I got down on my knees, and again, no pain. I am not one to make up stories, really. I was actually not sure what to make of it. Was this some sort of psychological trick? I guess, if I end up writing a blog tomorrow about how my knee is terribly stiff and broken, perhaps. However, I have a 100% faith that that is not the case. Our pastor asked us to go up and testify. Due to my awe-strickenness and not wanting to make a scene, I did not. I actually had gathered the courage towards the end, but he was wrapping it up. I did go up to him afterward to let him know. Being the man that he is, and of course believing, as I do, that we should proclaim His power and lift glory to Him, he called me back in the back of the church to testify in front of the mass that had gathered there to chat and fellowship. At first I felt awkward, but He gave me the words to say.
I will be honest. I saw faces filled with joy and encouragement, and some also with skepticism an "come on give me a break". Funny thing, the latter really did not matter to me. I know what happened. It is my knee. When I got to the bus stop, although I didn't have a toilet to scream into, I screamed with joy. When I arrived at my friends place, I did all the dances outside of his place, ballet jump and all, and I felt completely fine. I will dance tomorrow and on opening day and night. God is good. That is all I know. I have rejected Him my whole life. I am simply glad that I have let Him find me.
Before I get into my closing statements, I would just like to point out some things that have brought me to this point, which in my eyes is just the beginning of things which I cannot even imagine. First off, new experiences. Anyone living an existence where they do not feel uncomfortable or try new things is bound to get caught up in a skewed view of oneself and of the world. I am not trying to convert anyone to Christianity. I have seen this with my secular friends too. They find new sides of themselves and realize who they thought they were was simply who people had been telling them they were. About the whole Christianity thing, I am not proud of the Christian institution in a lot of ways. It has screwed up a lot and continues to do so. That is what kept me away for so many years; I ain't no cherry pie either. All I know is that knowing Jesus Christ personally is a real trip and this is from a guy who has taken plenty of trips, of all sorts, if you know what I mean.
On a simpler note, some music that is extremely inspirational is Sufjan Stevens. If you want something new and interesting musically that will stir deep thoughts and spiritual bowels, listen to this. Give it a try. He isn't Christian music. It ain't no lame Christian music. Just because I love Jesus doesn't mean I can't listen to good music. This guy is considered one of America's best songwriters and is one of the most respected musicians in the world today, particularly on the indie circuit. I also recommend Blue Like Jazz to everyone by Don Miller. This book was recommended to me for several years, but I am glad I have only read recently, because I would have only dismissed it before. I had to learn the things the hard way. Stories of God by Rainer Maria Rilke is also good. If anyone knows Literature, they know Rilke, so don't play dumb. One of humanities most brilliant poets. Most definitely, of course, the Bible. Start with Matthew or Mark if it seems daunting. I have read the other stuff, it's not as good, Buddhist texts, the Koran, etc. Give the Bible a chance, honestly. I am being objective. I wanted to be a Muslim for quite sometime, and I also took Buddhism quite seriously for quite some time. It's just a trend people.
If anyone wants to ask me any questions, comment, please feel free to email me:
adam.young-valdovinos@yale.edu
There is a story about my childhood that I would like to tell, but I think I will keep it for a future post. It has become quite clear to me how this strange occurence in my childhood is more relevant than ever now.
Finals and the musical are in His hands and they will be great, for his Glory.
Peace,
Adam
I experienced something ridiculous tonite. I experienced divine healing. I am not kidding. I almost feel ridiculous writing it or considering it, but I experienced it. I was at Wednesday service. I have been praying about my knee. Going to the doctor for physical therapy, I have been dealing with the "fact" that complete recovery will take at least 6-8 weeks. This is a fact that was not sitting too well with me. I even went into to my director today and told him I didn't think I could do most of the dances.
I met a man last week who approached us with a very interesting question: Where is your faith? This question, of course, he is relaying from God. It is easy to claim you have faith, but what if God were to say, you have gotten pretty good at praying and reading My Word, and attending church, but what about showing me your faith. That was tonite's message, a little bit of a rehash of last Sunday's guest's message.
Background on the guest: Dr. C, for the sake of safety and privacy.
He is a man with top credentials from both universities in S. Korea and in the states, with impressive post-doc work to boot. Despite all of this he said that in in his fist-sized heart he felt the vast emptiness of the entire universe. With the following question echoing in that endeless emptiness: " What have you done for God?"
To make a long story short (go to myjubileechurch.com to hear the entire sermon, amzing stuff really) he quit all that and decided to move to China. He initially went and taught as a professor and he befriended many of his students and would invite them to his apartment, and through that kindness and the wonder it sparked in his students, he showed them Jesus.
I really am not doing this man's story justice, so if you have time, please listen to the sermon; it is also quite entertaining. I promise you will roll around laughing, in pleasurable pain. He then decided he wanted to start a Christian school in Harbin, China, the place I will go this summer, however, he had no money. Despite the fact, he set a date and an ammount. January 10th. After months of praying, nothing came. As you may have guessed though, with the date approaching, he had acquired 50,000 dollars. On the night upon his departure to China, he had dinner with a pastor's wife who gave him a check. He figured it was money, and non-chalantly said, "anything helps," or something of that sort. When he arrived home, it irked him to find out how much was helping him get closer, on top of the already grand sum of 50,000, to the intended goal of 60,000 dollars. He was expecting 100 dollars or so. You may have guessed it...It was a check for 10,000 dollars! You really need to hear the sermon. This man is hilarious in his relating of this account. To only give a snippet, as he got on the plane to Beijing that night for a thirteen hour plane ride, being so excited and giddy, he found no other way to let out his joy than to go into to the bathroom stall, hug the toilet and scream into the flushing toilet. What a story, what a man, what a God!
Now with that out of the way. Tonight. My knee injury has truly been a struggle for me. I was praying for it and performing all the other procedures to make it better. However, being more humbled than ever tonite, I asked several people to pray over it. Sixth time is the charm as they say. When the sixth person laid hands on me and on my knee, I felt a literal something in my leg. At first, I just thought it was my leg going to sleep or something. It was a subtle kind of pins and needles feeling. The interesting thing is that she had asked me to get up from kneeling for her to pray for me. I was only on my knees for a couple of seconds, but that in itself was painful. But I was asking myself, "where is my faith." I know this my be hard for a non-believer to wrap their heads around, if you are still reading this at all. I would have been laughing at this post two paragraphs back myself a mere couple months ago. I really challenge anyone to read the Gospel. Read Mark or Matthew. I am sure you will like it. Remember, Christianity is one thing. I have not mentioned it once. It is not about Christianity. It is about Jesus Christ. A man I believed lived and still lives who is the Son of God. Read those books in the Bible. It says that Jesus performed miracles; he also said that those who believed in Him would have similar abilities. I have experienced several miracles and wonders in the past couple months, and now that I really think about it, my whole life. Tonight simply took it to an even more palpable realm.
After she prayed for me, I began to feel that my knee was different. I began to bend it, and there was no pain. I got down on my knees, and again, no pain. I am not one to make up stories, really. I was actually not sure what to make of it. Was this some sort of psychological trick? I guess, if I end up writing a blog tomorrow about how my knee is terribly stiff and broken, perhaps. However, I have a 100% faith that that is not the case. Our pastor asked us to go up and testify. Due to my awe-strickenness and not wanting to make a scene, I did not. I actually had gathered the courage towards the end, but he was wrapping it up. I did go up to him afterward to let him know. Being the man that he is, and of course believing, as I do, that we should proclaim His power and lift glory to Him, he called me back in the back of the church to testify in front of the mass that had gathered there to chat and fellowship. At first I felt awkward, but He gave me the words to say.
I will be honest. I saw faces filled with joy and encouragement, and some also with skepticism an "come on give me a break". Funny thing, the latter really did not matter to me. I know what happened. It is my knee. When I got to the bus stop, although I didn't have a toilet to scream into, I screamed with joy. When I arrived at my friends place, I did all the dances outside of his place, ballet jump and all, and I felt completely fine. I will dance tomorrow and on opening day and night. God is good. That is all I know. I have rejected Him my whole life. I am simply glad that I have let Him find me.
Before I get into my closing statements, I would just like to point out some things that have brought me to this point, which in my eyes is just the beginning of things which I cannot even imagine. First off, new experiences. Anyone living an existence where they do not feel uncomfortable or try new things is bound to get caught up in a skewed view of oneself and of the world. I am not trying to convert anyone to Christianity. I have seen this with my secular friends too. They find new sides of themselves and realize who they thought they were was simply who people had been telling them they were. About the whole Christianity thing, I am not proud of the Christian institution in a lot of ways. It has screwed up a lot and continues to do so. That is what kept me away for so many years; I ain't no cherry pie either. All I know is that knowing Jesus Christ personally is a real trip and this is from a guy who has taken plenty of trips, of all sorts, if you know what I mean.
On a simpler note, some music that is extremely inspirational is Sufjan Stevens. If you want something new and interesting musically that will stir deep thoughts and spiritual bowels, listen to this. Give it a try. He isn't Christian music. It ain't no lame Christian music. Just because I love Jesus doesn't mean I can't listen to good music. This guy is considered one of America's best songwriters and is one of the most respected musicians in the world today, particularly on the indie circuit. I also recommend Blue Like Jazz to everyone by Don Miller. This book was recommended to me for several years, but I am glad I have only read recently, because I would have only dismissed it before. I had to learn the things the hard way. Stories of God by Rainer Maria Rilke is also good. If anyone knows Literature, they know Rilke, so don't play dumb. One of humanities most brilliant poets. Most definitely, of course, the Bible. Start with Matthew or Mark if it seems daunting. I have read the other stuff, it's not as good, Buddhist texts, the Koran, etc. Give the Bible a chance, honestly. I am being objective. I wanted to be a Muslim for quite sometime, and I also took Buddhism quite seriously for quite some time. It's just a trend people.
If anyone wants to ask me any questions, comment, please feel free to email me:
adam.young-valdovinos@yale.edu
There is a story about my childhood that I would like to tell, but I think I will keep it for a future post. It has become quite clear to me how this strange occurence in my childhood is more relevant than ever now.
Finals and the musical are in His hands and they will be great, for his Glory.
Peace,
Adam
Monday, May 5, 2008
Adam on a Light
The past twenty days have been quite eventful. We are only eleven days from the musical, I am also the same number of days away from the end of my term with Sogang and the Light Fellowship.
Perhaps the most decisive event in the past twenty days has been my knee injury. Yes, knee injury. I hyper-extended my MCL, a ligament in my knee. It has hindered my ability to walk properly, and it goes without saying that it has indeed hindered my ability to dance. However, I remain faithful; I know I will be up on that stage come May 17th.
I have been in the hospital a lot for the last couple weeks, for phsyical therapy, cortizone shots, and all those sorts of things to help my knee recover. As may be guessed, given this mot recent development, this final term at Sogang is potentially becoming an absolute train wreck, and that is Ok. I have missed a lot of school, particulary due to my injury. I will have my finals next week, but it really is one of the last things on my mind. I am more than satisfied with my Korean ability, and I know the teachers are equally impressed, regardless of any printed numbers. If anything, it will be quite nice to take a break from formal language study this summer, especially before I begin to tackle Chinese in September.
Regarding my injury, I appreciate all and any prayers. Not only for that but for the rest of my summer. As I mentioned in my previous post, I will not be returning home this summer. I probably will not be leaving Asia until perhaps December or January, if that.
This summer will revolve around missions work both in Korea and abroad. I am hoping to move in next door to the church I have been attending and get involved in ministries this summer, orphanage ministry, North Korea ministry, college ministry, etc. There is also a trip to Harbin, China this July that I am set on going on to help out at a private Christian school in China. All of this I will be doing to bring aid and relief to many who are in suffering and with that, and most importantly, bring the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
This summer has made me reconsider a lot of my goals and aims in life. Books that could help shed light on what I am talking about are Blue Like Jazz, and of course, the Bible itself. None of this means that I am not going to finish college; I am going to finish college indeed. This is what I will be doing in Beijing next year, learning Chinese and returning to Yale there after.
I thought it was clever to call my blog, at least in the URL, "adam on a light". At that time I was of course referring to the Light Fellowship. Well, I will keep this blog, and continue to post about the amazing things that I am sure I will witness this summer. However, it is funny to think that I named the blog before I even realized what it really was going to mean. I am indeed Adam, on a light, if not the light itself, of the world along with others. Putting service above self, as I was taught by Rotary all these years ago, and coupling it with the only place from where that sort of truly selfless service can come, the inspired word of God, and his son Jesus Christ.
I have been transformed this year; I will have to write a testimony at some point. I don't feel like I am chasing a pipe dream anymore. For those of you who have read this far, I come with a humble request.
There is no way for me to work in Korea, particulary because of visa issues. Moreover, I am engulfed with volunteer activities, and school for now. But once school ends, I will be dedicating all of my time in effort to service and the exapansion of God's kingdom. (If any of this sounds ridiculous, trite, or humdrum, I challenge anyone to pick up the Bible). I will be doing this here in Korea and in China over the summer. I honestly have no real idea about how I am going to completely subsist, but I am faithful. Therefore, I come to any of you who read this blog humbly, asking humbly, that if any of you feel you have a heart to help support me in the aiding of North Korea, North Korean refugess, orphans, the opressed of China, and the spreading of the message of Jesus Christ to all the corners of the world, asking humbly first and foremost for prayer, and secondly, and obviously I would assume, with monetary contributions. Anything at all, to help me accomplish His will.
If you have a heart to aid me with anything at all, please contact me at:
adam.young-valdovinos@yale.edu
Also contact me, if you have any questions, or comments.
I am not the kind of person to to this, however, my spirit has been humbled in a massive way this year. I have realized that no matter where I go to school, what skills I may have, what I may look like, I am as broken as the next guy. We all feel this and the emptiness the accompanies it. I do not want to sit back and fool myself anymore. I don't want to tell myself I will do things for others and for Him later, because that later may never come. I pray many of you are moved to help support me, and moved to share in me in the activities I will be undertaking this summer and beyond, not for myself, but for others, and for the edification of the Kingdom of Heaven on earth as it is in Heaven.
Grace to all,
Adam
Perhaps the most decisive event in the past twenty days has been my knee injury. Yes, knee injury. I hyper-extended my MCL, a ligament in my knee. It has hindered my ability to walk properly, and it goes without saying that it has indeed hindered my ability to dance. However, I remain faithful; I know I will be up on that stage come May 17th.
I have been in the hospital a lot for the last couple weeks, for phsyical therapy, cortizone shots, and all those sorts of things to help my knee recover. As may be guessed, given this mot recent development, this final term at Sogang is potentially becoming an absolute train wreck, and that is Ok. I have missed a lot of school, particulary due to my injury. I will have my finals next week, but it really is one of the last things on my mind. I am more than satisfied with my Korean ability, and I know the teachers are equally impressed, regardless of any printed numbers. If anything, it will be quite nice to take a break from formal language study this summer, especially before I begin to tackle Chinese in September.
Regarding my injury, I appreciate all and any prayers. Not only for that but for the rest of my summer. As I mentioned in my previous post, I will not be returning home this summer. I probably will not be leaving Asia until perhaps December or January, if that.
This summer will revolve around missions work both in Korea and abroad. I am hoping to move in next door to the church I have been attending and get involved in ministries this summer, orphanage ministry, North Korea ministry, college ministry, etc. There is also a trip to Harbin, China this July that I am set on going on to help out at a private Christian school in China. All of this I will be doing to bring aid and relief to many who are in suffering and with that, and most importantly, bring the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
This summer has made me reconsider a lot of my goals and aims in life. Books that could help shed light on what I am talking about are Blue Like Jazz, and of course, the Bible itself. None of this means that I am not going to finish college; I am going to finish college indeed. This is what I will be doing in Beijing next year, learning Chinese and returning to Yale there after.
I thought it was clever to call my blog, at least in the URL, "adam on a light". At that time I was of course referring to the Light Fellowship. Well, I will keep this blog, and continue to post about the amazing things that I am sure I will witness this summer. However, it is funny to think that I named the blog before I even realized what it really was going to mean. I am indeed Adam, on a light, if not the light itself, of the world along with others. Putting service above self, as I was taught by Rotary all these years ago, and coupling it with the only place from where that sort of truly selfless service can come, the inspired word of God, and his son Jesus Christ.
I have been transformed this year; I will have to write a testimony at some point. I don't feel like I am chasing a pipe dream anymore. For those of you who have read this far, I come with a humble request.
There is no way for me to work in Korea, particulary because of visa issues. Moreover, I am engulfed with volunteer activities, and school for now. But once school ends, I will be dedicating all of my time in effort to service and the exapansion of God's kingdom. (If any of this sounds ridiculous, trite, or humdrum, I challenge anyone to pick up the Bible). I will be doing this here in Korea and in China over the summer. I honestly have no real idea about how I am going to completely subsist, but I am faithful. Therefore, I come to any of you who read this blog humbly, asking humbly, that if any of you feel you have a heart to help support me in the aiding of North Korea, North Korean refugess, orphans, the opressed of China, and the spreading of the message of Jesus Christ to all the corners of the world, asking humbly first and foremost for prayer, and secondly, and obviously I would assume, with monetary contributions. Anything at all, to help me accomplish His will.
If you have a heart to aid me with anything at all, please contact me at:
adam.young-valdovinos@yale.edu
Also contact me, if you have any questions, or comments.
I am not the kind of person to to this, however, my spirit has been humbled in a massive way this year. I have realized that no matter where I go to school, what skills I may have, what I may look like, I am as broken as the next guy. We all feel this and the emptiness the accompanies it. I do not want to sit back and fool myself anymore. I don't want to tell myself I will do things for others and for Him later, because that later may never come. I pray many of you are moved to help support me, and moved to share in me in the activities I will be undertaking this summer and beyond, not for myself, but for others, and for the edification of the Kingdom of Heaven on earth as it is in Heaven.
Grace to all,
Adam
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